Chapter 47
Sapphire.
The moment Isaac and I reached the pack house, I didn’t wait for him to speak, My feet hit the ground running my heart still pounding from the panic attack that had gripped me only minutes ago. I barely registered the looks, anger maybe even judgment, before I bolted up the stairs. The whispers chased me as I passed through the hall, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than the suffocating weight on my chest. My vision blurred as I reached my door, slamming it shaat behind me like I could keep the world om if I just shut it hard enough.
I collapsed onto the floor, my body shaking with sobs that I’d been holding back for too long. It was like a dam breaking, every emotion crashing down all at once, fear, shame, embarrassment, and a deep sense of Eilure that I couldn’t shake no matter how much I tried. I buried my Ince in my hands, fingers digging into my scalp as I tried to pull myself together.
But I couldn’t.
The tears came faster, and I found myself tugging at my hair in frustration. How could I let myself ges like this? Why did I break down in front of everyone? I gave them my weakness on a platter.
My chest
world.
st tightened again at the thought, and curled up on the floor, my hair falling sound my face like a curtain, shielding me from the rest of the
“I’m so stupid,” I whispered the words barely audible between sobs.
My mind kept racing, replaying the events over and over. Everything they have done, all those accusing glances, every whispered word, they were all knives, stabbing into me with relentless accuracy. I’d never been this weak, never let them see me fall apart. But today today I couldn’t hold it Together.
The p
finally stater
pressure had been building for days no, weeks–and it finally shattered me, I’d been strong for so long, pretending I was fine when I wasn’t. I had told myself that everything would get better, that if I just pathed through, no one would have to know how much pain I was
But now they all knew. They had seen me at my worst, and I couldn’t take it back,
I sat up, clutching my hair in my hands as if that would somehow ground me. My breathing was ragged, and I tried to slow it down, but it felt like I was drowning. My heart raced, each beat a reminder of the panic that had taken over, I was so embarrassed, so angry with myself for letting it happen.
I wanted to disappear.
“Get it together,” Thissed through clenched teeth, rocking back and forth as I tried to calm down. “You can’t fall apart like this.”
But the more I told myself that, the worse I teh. The more I tried to push it down, the harder it was to breathe. I hated this I hated how powerless I fel, how our of control everything was. All I could do was cry, sobbing into the emptiness of my room as I struggled to make sense of the stomm
inside me
It was always like this.
Every time I thought I’d hit rock bottom, something else would come along to push me deeper. The weight of everything pressing down on my chien made it hard to breathe. My body screained for me to stop, to give up, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.
Towed her the much
My mother had sacrificed her life to save mine. The thought of her barned in my mind, a costant reminder that I didn’t have the luxury of giving up. No matter how messy or unbearable my situation got, quitting would be an insult to her memory. She hadn’t given up when things got hard She’d fought wil her last breath for me, and I wasn’t about to throw then all away just because I couldn’t handle the pressure.
Still, it didn’t make the pain any casier to bear.
I curled up tighter on the bed, my fingers gripping the blankets mi stared at the ceiling, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. I couldn’t break down again. Not now. Not after everything. But the weight of the past few days felt like it was crushing me from the inside.
A soft knock echoed from the door, pulling me from my thoughts. I tensed, the sound grating against my already frayed nerves. I didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Whoever was could wait.
They were the reason I was like this anyway.
Iturned my face away from the door, squeezing my eyes shut. Maybe if ignored them, they’d go away. But the knocking came again, a little more
“Go away,” I mantered.
For a moment, there was silence. I thought maybe they had listened, finally getting the hint that I didn’t want to be bothered. But then I heard the deurknob turn, and my pulse quickened.
“Please, just leave me alone.” I said louder.
The door creaked open, and I groaned mentally. Of course, they wouldn’t listen. They never did, I sat up slowly, wiping at my eyes, not wanting to
look a weak as 1 feli
“Hey,” a soft voice said, and immediately recognized it.
Of course. It was him.
“What do you wai
ved, not bothering to hide the irritation in my tone
He heutered, wanding in the doorway like he won’t cure whether to come in or not. I glared at him, hoping the look would be enough to send him
Ljust wanted to check on you,” he said cautiously, as afraid I might snap. Maybe I would.
| “Well I’ni for ” | snapped, crossing my arms over my diest. “You can go now.”
He sigheil, urpping inside and closing the door softly beland ham. “You don’t look fine.”
Flaughed hotely. “Well, thanks for the reminder
He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there, his eyes filled with concem li made me even angrier. I didn’t need his pity, I didn’t need anyone’s
Phry was for weak girls. The already saw me as one. My mate wanted to play hero?
il part of you can go now, don’t you understand? You want to play hero now? After you contributed to send me off? You are the reason why all of thm is happenime You”
