#Chapter 69: Mixed Emotions
#Chapter 69: Mixed Emotions
I hear Ryan pass by my door. Or rather pause outside of it. I know I’m paranoid, but I feel like I have a good reason to be. I know werewolves have a crazy sense of smell and that Ryan can probably tell where I am. Maybe even knew I was in the hall just a few seconds ago.
I wait several minutes before I crack the door open. The hall is dark and empty; I don’t see any lights streaming out from under doors.
I creep back to the living room, quiet as I can, and peek around the doorway.
Alex is lying on the couch wide awake, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hey,” I whisper.
His head snaps toward the door.
“Goodnight.”
Alex sits up. “Come here,” he whispers back.
I walk over to the couch and sit on the spot Alex vacated when he sat up.
I keep my voice low so no one can hear me. “Are you okay now?”
“I do feel better. I don’t know what that was about.”
“I heard Ryan,” I admit. It’s time to stop ignoring the topic. “It isss Rita? Your mate?”
Now, this question is two–fold because I already know it’s Rita. I want Alex to come out and confirm it, which he hasn’t done. I also need to know what he was sating about me.
Alex looks shocked. “To be honest, I don’t know. I feel something around you, too.”
“Me?”
“I mean, it was intense yesterday…when I saw her. But since then, I don’t know what my body is feeling. It’s so confusing.”
“But me?”
“Yeah…I think.” He sighs. “Hell, I don’t know.”
I don’t say anything because…what can I say?
“Will you just lay with me for a bit?”
“Of course.”
Alex slides back down, on his side, and pulls me toward him. He wraps his arms around me, and I can feel his warmth. I can feel his sold mass at my back as we spoon.
I could stay here forever.
e he
While we lie cuddling, I think about everything that’s happened in the past twenty–four hours. Alex to loves me that he may even have a mate attraction to me. That would explain why my every cell wants to touch him when he’s nearby. I don’t know if this is what lust feels like, but, if so, then I’m overly responsive to it!
But how would he even mate with me? I mean, is his wolf attracted to me? Can that happen when I’m not a werewolf? From what little I know, werewolves are only fated to mate with other werewolves, which only makes
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#Chapter 69. Mixed Emotions
sense.
Is it possible Alex could be confusing his emotional feelings for me with the physical attraction he’s experiencing toward Rita? Maybe now that he’s found her, his body won rest until the wolf inside is satisfied. Isn’t that how Rita put it?
I need to be careful with that line of thought. My body is humming in sync with his. It wants him to calm the chaos, to put it at rest. Now I can’t trust my own flesh any more than I can trust my own heart.
Or my own mind. Surely, he didn’t mean what he hitted at earlier: I can’t be a potential mate.
I must have heard wrong.
I don’t know what’s going on with me, but something is definitely wrong
I’ve never known pain like that before, and I really don’t know what brought it on. Is it being here, or maybe my body’s response to all the crazy shit I’m dealing with?
Now I wonder: Is Rita my fated mate after all? I know it sounds crazy–because it’s absolutely nuts–but the feeling is stronger when I’m with Cynthia. I know it is. It just doesn’t make sense; She’s human.
I must be losing my mind.
Granted, I’m obviously attracted to human women, and vice versa, but it has never been like this! My head is swimming…and right now–with Cynthia curled up against me–my body is sizzling.
So what do I do? I have obligations being thrust on me that I wasn’t expecting, and I don’t have the time or the freedom that I’m accustomed to having. Sure, I was going to turn eighteen anyway, but I wasn’t planning on it being a big deal because I wasn’t planning on being with the pack on my birthday.
I mean, I know I’m not ready for the responsibility of a mate and obligations. I know Cynthia can vouch for that. The longer I can delay the inevitable, the better for me.
Sweet Cynthia. She feels so good cuddled close to me. She’s so warm and small. What will I do about her? I can’t tell if I’m thinking with my head or my animal. All I know is that I would do anything for her. To her. Except let her go.
What if all this got resolved and my brother got better? I know that’s wishful thinking, but it’s what I hope for. Now that I’ve had a talk with Rita, she’s no longer a concern. I can even be happy…
But Michael–I honestly don’t want him to get better simply so I can run away. I can be a man and live up to my responsibilities…if I absolutely have to. It’s just that I don’t want to.
I want Michael to get better because he’s the best big brother a guy could ever have. Solid, faithful, strong–plus so much more! He’s the man I hope to be some day.
Just not right now. I can’t be him yet, so I need to figure out what’s going on and help him.
The problem is, I have to solve the rogue werewolf problem separately, since I still don’t know what’s really wrong with Michael. Werewolves heal quickly unless a handful of circumstances hinder that progress. We don’t know what’s working against him, but I suspect some kind of interference ritual, or perhaps a poisonous herb. My brother’s a strong wolf who wouldn’t have an issue on his own; but now he lies weak and comatose, close to death weeks after the attack, so there’s definitely something sinister at play.
I need to figure out what that is.
