“Chloe, who do you think you are? Why do you
have to control my life? I hate people who tattle!”
I had never seen him so angry. I cried for a long time after I got home. I decided I was never speaking to him again.
I avoided him for the rest of the summer. Shortly after school started again, it was my birthday. Ethan bought me a crystal ball I had
been wanting. He squatted down in front of me, our eyes level, and said in a pleading voice,
“Chloe, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me
anymore.”
I was pathetically easy to appease and immediately forgave him.
<
From then on, we still had occasional
disagreements, but he always knew how to
coax me back with a few sweet words.
In the second semester of our senior year, I asked Ethan where he planned to apply for college. He said he wanted to be a doctor and
was going to apply to UCLA.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Wherever you go, I’ll go,” I replied without
hesitation.
I was worried I wouldn’t get in; UCLA’s
admission standards were high. Ethan offered
to tutor me. That was another thing I admired
about him. Ethan was incredibly smart. I always studied harder than him, but my grades never
measured up. He always seemed so laid–back,
yet he aced every test and was the teachers‘
pet.
<
VIUI Luans lutuiny anu encouragemenL, ITTY
grades finally improved.
“If I get into the same college as you,” I asked
him hopefully, “will you grant me one wish?”
He grinned. “Can I say no?”
“No! If you say no, I won’t have any motivation
to study anymore!”
He sighed dramatically. “Fine, I promise.”
We both knew what that wish was. Yes, I
planned to confess my feelings if we both got
into UCLA.
When the exam results came out, I was on track
for UCLA, just as I had hoped. But after submitting my application, I realized Ethan’s
long con. He wanted to get rid of me..
Unlike the other excited freshmen, I started
college feeling utterly dejected. Being played by
く
the boy I liked made me question myself. Was I
really that annoying? Did he go through all that
trouble, that elaborate charade, just to ditch me
once we got to college?
Ethan’s grades were always better than mine,
so I never really expected to get into the same
college as him. Back then, my only wish was to
be in the same city. I wouldn’t mind traveling to
see him on weekends. Ethan knew this, of
course, but he didn’t want that. He tricked me
so he could be in a completely different city.
UCLA and NYU were thousands of miles apart.
He got what he wanted.
I went through my first semester like a zombie.
Spacing out in class, lost in thought outside of
it, I never took my studies seriously. Compared
to my classmates who were diligently studying
medicine, I was an anomaly.
I had no real interest in medicine and had never
>
seriously considered becoming a doctor. I only
applied to this school because of my infatuation.
with Ethan. Back then, I was too busy
daydreaming about holding hands on campus
and living a lovey–dovey life to think about the
actual studying involved.
That changed during winter break of my
freshman year.
I was flying home for the holidays. Mid–flight,
the passenger next to me had a heart attack
and stopped breathing. It was the first time I
had witnessed something like that, and I froze.
While the flight attendants and other
passengers panicked, an older man stepped
forward and started performing CPR.
Twenty minutes later, the passenger started
breathing again and regained consciousness
before we landed. When he opened his eyes,
many passengers were in tears. We had almost
lost him. And now, he was alive. It was a
profoundly moving experience.
And throughout it all, the words of the man who
saved him kept replaying in my mind: “I’m a
doctor!”
Witnessing a doctor save a life right in front of
me was incredibly impactful. I knew doctors
were supposed to save lives, but I had never
seen it firsthand. It was so inspiring, so
powerful. I couldn’t help but think, I want to be
like him.
For the first time in my life, I felt a genuine
desire for a profession. I, too, wanted to be a
doctor.
After winter break, I locked myself in my room
and crammed all the coursework I’d missed
during my first semester. I didn’t go out, I didn’t
contact Ethan, I didn’t even see him. I didn’t
even know if he came home for the holidays.
For the next few years of college, I poured all
my energy into my studies. Med school was tough, even harder than senior year of high school. I woke up before dawn to study and didn’t get back to the dorm from the library
until the stars were out. My schedule was
packed, and there was never enough time. For
four years, I barely went shopping or had any
fun.
