38 – Cassian/Iris
I sensed it before she walked in. Metallic, sanguineous and fresh. Blood. Iris walked in, a bit hunched with a large back in her hand. Again, she freezes when she notices that I am in the room.
“Cassian,” she greeted, her voice hoarse as though it hurt to speak. “Good evening,”
“Evening.” I replied in kind. But I did not take my eyes off her as she moved to her side of the bed, slowly. She grimaced slightly with each movement, and she groaned a bit as she sat on the bed after placing the book on the nightstand. She did not bother changing her clothes or washing up. She just laid there as I watched her, her petite body racked with tension and wounded with pain.
Werewolves, compared to Lycans, were quite small. We dwarfed them in size. That was what the fever curse and evolution had done to us. She was always tiny to me and maybe that was where my protectiveness had originated from, despite what she was to my kind, or what her people had done
to mine.
But today, there was something about her that made her seem smaller as she curled herself on the bed. She looked too fragile and broken, mixed with the smell of the blood…
Though she had tried not to meet my eyes, I had noticed hers. They were red and puffy. But she laid still in bed, seemingly asleep, or at least she tried to make it look that way.
Without a word, I got in bed beside her and did not attempt to touch her. When I let out a sleepy groan, I heard her let out a sigh of relief.
Iris‘ POV.
I made sure that I pretended to be asleep for the next thirty minutes and when I finally heard Cassian’s soft snoring, I finally rose from bed. I grimaced at every little moment, each time I bit back a pained groan whenever there was a sharp pain.
When my feet touched the ground and Cassian had not even stirred in his sleep, I knew part of my plan was complete. This might actually work. I held my breath as I got on my feet and stood. Maybe not to my full height, because the wounds on my back would not allow it, but I made my way to the bathroom.
I closed the door softly behind me, and turned to rest my body on it. I took a deep breath again, the action was, of course, rewarded with a sharp pain that made my legs tremble beneath my weight.
But I went on with the mission. I had to be quick. Cassian might awaken and not find me by his side. I lit a match and lit a candle. With agony, I undressed myself and walked to the front of the life–size mirror in the bathroom to assess the damage inflicted.
I was used to the abuse and torture, but it truly filled me with despair to know that the cycle was never–ending. It was as though pain and my life were so deeply intertwined. First, it had been my father, then Kavriel and now Zahila. It did not matter where I tried to escape, pain would always
follow.
My body was already a map of scars. Running from my legs to my arms, to my torso. I looked at the ugly shell that I called my body. Battered and destroyed. I was an undesirable creature.
It has been a long time since I looked at my reflection. I was always afraid of what I would see and, indeed, my fear was warranted.
My back was where the damage was most inflicted and dreaded to look at it, but I began turning nonetheless. I had to know where the wounds were the worst so that I would be able to clean them up better.
“Who did that to you?” A growl came from behind me.
I whipped around, my heart skipping a beat. Suddenly, though they were ready to burst.
I was face
face with Cassian, his eyes blazing with anger. The veins on his neck bulged as
“Cassian,” I stammered, my voice trembling. “I thought you were asleep.”
“You have not answered my question, Iris,” There was a note of warning in his voice as he glared. His gaze shifted to my back, and I saw the rage building, he looked like he wanted to draw blood. “Who did this to you?”
I hesitated, my chest suddenly not having enough space for my wildly thumping heart. “It’s nothing,” I said quickly, trying to dismiss his question. “I just had a little accident.” I tried to cover myself, but I stood naked before him. There was no escaping, I was bared to him, scars and all.
“Don’t you lie to me,” he said, he quickly ate up the space between us before I could catch my breath. His large frame towered over me,
Tears welled up in my eyes as the pain and exhaustion overwhelmed me, but I shook my head, trying to stay strong. “It’s nothing, Cassian. Please, just let it go.” I had to keep him away from this. Zahila’s threat kept resounding in my head. I had to keep him from this for Abel. I could not let more of his innocence be taken away from him.
As though he noticed my dilemma, his eyes softened for a moment, filled with a tenderness that made my heart ache. It was so foreign and out of place on him, and it was directed at me. “Iris, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth.”
“I can’t…” I could not think of any excuses, I just did not have any energy, I just wanted him to understand. “Please…”
Cassian’s hands clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white. “No,” he said, his voice shaking with barely restrained anger. “Iris, you took an oath to not hide things from me.”
“But I can’t!” I yelled, unable to fight back the anguish that held me captured. For the first time, I let myself meet his eye as I tried to stand my ground. “I can’t…” I voice cracked. I was simply not strong enough, especially not when he was looking at me as though it destroyed him to see me so
Setting
21.02
38 Cassian/Iris
broken and scarred. As though he regretted not being able to protect me. He was looking at all of me. He pitied me, and It was too glaring, it made
me choke on my words. “…if I do…” I tried to speak, but my words were lost in the tempest of emotions that engulfed me. “Abel…” I closed my hand over my mouth, trying to stop myself from breaking completely and telling him.
His expression darkened. “Zahila,” he growled.
And that was all he needed to say for me to fall apart. My knees gave way but he caught me. His touch hurt my already battered body, but I did not recoil or pull away as he carried me gently. He put me in the tub filled with water.
The water was warm and after the initial pain, there was reprieve. Cassian did not say anything as he washed me as gently as he could. He treated me like a ceramic figurine. Yet, as he washed me, anger radiated from him in waves. His jaw clenched tightly, and his eyes were fierce, yet he remained tender in his actions.
“Cassian,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the sound of the water.
He paused, his hand hovering over a particularly deep cut on my back. “Don’t speak.” He ordered. “Unless you are ready to talk.”
Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, mixing with the water, but I obeyed. I had revealed enough already, and he was not foolish, he would figure it out by himself. I told him, my words came out in a rush and by the time he was done, Cassian had washed me up.
He did not pause for a second throughout my narration. He did not comment or react. He carried me out of the tub and back to the room.
He dried me off and dressed my wounds. Through the whole thing, he said nothing and I found that his silence was far more menacing than his
reaction.
After he dressed my wounds, Cassian gently laid me back on the bed. His silence was unnerving, a heavyweight pressing down on me. What was he thinking? What was he going to do? What would happen to Abel?
He left for a moment and re–entered the bathroom. I waited with bated breath and my heart stopped when I heard a loud crash that sounded like breaking glass. After a few minutes, Cassian returned with his hand bandaged around the chuckles.
He came back to bed and, without a word, pulled me to his chest, making sure not to touch my back. His embrace was firm but gentle, his warmth surrounding me. I could feel his heart beating steadily. Yet, I could still sense that anger that he buried within.
Soon the last remnants of my resistance melted away. I allowed myself to relax against him, my eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment. Despite everything, despite the pain and fear, I felt a sense of solace in his arms. Solace that seemed to have eluded me since my lessons began with
Zahila.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.
