67 – Raspberry pudding
Jone.
It was like being pulled out of water after almost drowning. I opened my eyes in the dim light of the room. It took a minute to realize that I was in the infirmary. I could not quite breathe a sigh of relief just yet–this could be another memory. I held my breath as I surveyed my environment a bit more, turning my head around. There was a sleeping delta in a chair. But that did not mean it was not yet another memory.
I tried to sit up, an action that was casier said than done. My body felt like lead–heavy and useless. But when I finally managed to sit up, my head pounding and my muscles aching, I noticed the two huddled together, sleeping in each other’s arms–Cassian and Iris. Iris was here. I breathed a sigh of relief. This was the present. I was back. I had escaped the void.
When the sigh escaped my lips, Cassian stirred a little, soon rousing from sleep. He opened his eyes, unfocused for the first few seconds before they grew sharper, surprise taking over his face.
“Ione,” he murmured softly, his voice still laced with the remnants of his slumber.
At the sound of his voice, Iris stirred as well and opened her eyes. She looked up at Cassian, confused as to what he must have been looking at. She followed his gaze, and her eyes found me and widened. She was on her feet in a second, rushing to me, her expression filled with joy and relief. She looked like she could almost cry. I never thought anyone would be so glad that I woke up.
She ran up to me and, without a single word, wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me to her. Her hold was tight, tighter than I could ever expect it to be for a werewolf, especially one her size.
“We were so worried,” she whispered. “But you are back,” she sighed, her voice filled with relief. She pulled away from me, searching my face for something that I did not know.
“Are you alright?” she asked, her brown eyes bright and inquisitive. “Does anything hurt?”
I could have cried. Everything hurt, to be honest, but the fact that a woman who was not family thought me worthy of such care and kindness almost left me breathless. “I am okay,” I lied.
More relief seeped into her features. Then her face hardened as she cradled my face in her small, warm hand. “Never do that to me again,” she said, her voice so harsh that it sounded foreign coming from her mouth.
I blinked at her, my expression falling. “I am… sorry,” I said. “I know I should have asked you for permission. I will never do that to you again. I promise. Please forgive me.”
Her eyes widened, her expression softened. She looked at me like a mother would her most precious child. “I did not mean that,” she clarified, her voice turning teasing. “I meant that you should never leave like that again. We were so scared that we would never see you again. And if you are going to apologize to anyone, apologize to Abel. He has been crying non–stop since. He watched over you more than I did. If not for him, I would not have found you in time. I would not have been able to save you.”
My heart ached as I looked at her. They were not Lycans, they were nothing like my kind. She had been held captive here, and her brother had been made to join her, yet it was almost as though they…
“We love you too much,” Iris said, as though reading my thoughts. “We cannot lose you.”
My heart was thumping wildly, overwhelmed. I did not know if it was the pain or the relief that I was finally back or the fact that I was just told that I am loved. Or maybe it was just the combination of all of it.
My eyes stung with tears, and I did not try to hold them back; I lacked the energy, and I let them fall and trail down my cheeks. Iris did not seem at all fazed by my tears; she simply wiped them away, one by one.
“I… don’t know… I am… You are… I… Abel,” I mumbled my words, none of it making any sense.
“Shh…” Iris shushed gently. “I understand you, alright. Just let it out, my dear.”
I just looked at her as I cried. How did a person like her suffer so much and still exude so much goodness? How was she still so kind? She had every
right to curse the world for everything that it had taken from her. Her child, her pack, her mother…
I looked over at Cassian, who was looming over the two of us, quietly watching from a distance. His eyes were on her, filled with awe at the woman who now comforted his little sister. He looked at her like she was the sun, like she was the most lovely thing in his world. There was reverence in his gaze that was unlike any expression I had ever seen on his face. Even when he had been in love with Zahila, he had not looked at her that way. I knew he was thinking the same thing as me, wondering how a woman like Iris could exist and coincidentally end up in the castle on that fateful night.
“You must be starving,” Iris said. “I have something already prepared for you.”
At the mention of food, I felt nausea washing over me. “I really don’t feel like…”
“No, no, we will be having none of that,” she cut in.
“Abel will be livid if he finds out you did not eat what he cooked.”
My heart stopped. “He cooked for me?” I gasped.
“Yes, it’s his own recipe for your favorite dish. He said that…”
“You are awake!” A cringeworthy voice cut through the atmosphere. We all turned in its direction to see Zahila, who looked like she had stars in her eyes. It was unsettling. Why did she look so excited to see me?
She walked into the room and toward me, almost shoving Iris away. She suddenly wrapped her arms around me, and I felt my entire body
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67 Raspberry pudding
immediately recoil at the contact. She pulled away from me.
“I was worried sick,” she said. “You were so ill.” She gushed. “I could not stay by your side, but I prayed to the goddess every day to bring you back, and it looks like she has finally answered my prayers.”
I was speechless, my mouth agape. “What…”
“What? Can’t your favorite sister–in–law worry about you anymore?” she asked, pouting.
I looked up at Cassian and Iris. Iris had the same expression as me, but Cassian looked like a man poised to kill a fly that had been annoying him.
“So, how are you feeling now? I hope you are feeling much better,” she continued.
“Yes, I am okay, just a little-
“That’s great,” she cut me off. “So now that you are back, what did you see?” she asked.
“What did I see?” I repeated, caught off guard.
She moved closer to me until she was close enough to my ear. “What did you see when you touched her?” she asked.
My stomach dropped, my body not yet processing all that had happened, let alone my mind. Just the thought of thinking back to all that I saw and
felt made my blood run cold.
“She is still weak right now,” Iris cut in, noticing my discomfort.
Zahila did not even turn to acknowledge her. “I was not speaking to you. If Ione cannot handle it, I am sure she would tell me. We have known each other longer than you have known her,” she dismissed.
A grumble sounded from Cassian, making her freeze. “You heard the Luna, Zahila. I think it would be preferred if you left.” It was not a suggestion; it
was an order.
She sat motionless for a moment before she got up and ran out like a child who had just been scolded for something it was not guilty of.
There was an awkward silence before Iris resumed what she had been saying before she was interrupted.
A maid was called to get the food. My earlier nausea almost entirely fled when the platter was brought before me. It was an assortment of my favorite dishes, and the thought that Abel had been partially responsible for them made it even more palatable. My mouth was almost watering. “Wow!” I gasped.
“I know,” Iris said, taking a spoonful of my favorite raspberry pudding to feed me herself. I opened my mouth just as we were interrupted again.
“Ione?”
My heart dropped when I heard my mother’s voice as she walked in. I looked away from her and stared at the platter of food. I was not looking forward to getting scolded for ‘not doing it right.
“You are awake,” her voice was deceptively gentle. “I was worried sick.”
The lie made my stomach turn, the nausea returning. Bile coated my tongue. My mother stood there, looking at me with that fake concern plastered on her face. The sight of her made my stomach twist, the nausea returning with a vengeance. I tried to focus on the food, the comfort it had brought me a moment ago now tainted by her presence.
“Yes, I’m awake,” I muttered, keeping my gaze fixed on the platter in front of me.
She stepped closer, and I could feel her scrutinizing me, probably assessing how much damage had been done. It was always about appearances with her. “You look pale,” she said, her voice still maintaining that insincere softness. “You should rest more.” But I knew that was not what she actually wanted to say.
I bit back a scared whimper. Of course, she would notice my appearance first, not anything else. I glanced at Cassian and Iris. Cassian’s jaw was set, his eyes cold as he watched our mother, ready to intervene if needed. Iris remained by my side, her hand gently resting on my shoulder, a silent reminder that I wasn’t alone, just as she had promised me, I was so grateful. I was not alone, but fear was a feeling that had no regard for reason or logic.
“Thank you for your concern,” I said, unable to keep the tremor out of my voice. “But I’m fine.”
She hesitated, as if considering whether to press further. Then, to my surprise, she took a step back. “That’s lovely,” she said, her voice strained. She turned to Cassian and Iris. “I have been so worried. I would really love some time alone with my daughter.”
My stomach dropped, and Cassian read my panic immediately. “Unfortunately, Mother, that will not be possible.” His voice was level as usual, but it did not lack command or impact.
By the way our mother’s shoulders bunched up, she knew as well. “Oh…” she said, trailing off. She turned back to me, her eyes sharp and filled with deadly intent. I gulped–she was telling me that she would be back. I could not escape this.
Without another word, she got back on her feet, turned, and left the room, Her heels clicked sharply against the floor. The door closed behind her with a finality that felt like a small victory. I exhaled, finally able to breathe freely again.
Iris squeezed my shoulder gently. “Are you alright?” she asked, her voice filled with such genuine concern that it sounded like a sweet song. The contrast was almost entirely too blatant.
I nodded, feeling both relief and exhaustion. “I am alright, but mostly hungry,” I managed a wobbly smile, trying to hide my nervousness.
Cassian’s expression softened as he looked at me. “You are safe here, don’t worry. Just focus your energy on recovering your strength. We are here,” he sounded unsure–not because he was uncertain about what he was assuring me, but because the warmth he was showing felt foreign, like a new language.
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The warmth in his voice caught me off guard, and I couldn’t help but smile a little. It was strange, feeling this sense of protection and care from him
in this way. My heart felt heavy with unspoken emotions, gratitude mingling with the remnants of fear and confusion. But my brother was talking to me like I was his sister. That was a good start.
“Now, let’s get you some food,” Iris said, her tone lighter as she picked up the spoon again. “Abel will be so happy to know you enjoyed what he
made.”
I smiled at that. The thought of Abel cooking for me, putting in that effort, warmed my heart. I took the spoonful of pudding she offered, savoring the sweetness. It was like a tasty balm, soothing the chaos in my mind.
“Yummmm,” I moaned, savoring the taste. It seemed like Abel was a culinary genius.
As I ate, we talked quietly, the atmosphere in the room growing warmer and more relaxed. It was like the storm had passed, leaving a fragile peace in its wake, Cassian stayed close, watching over us with that protective, almost reverent gaze. Like he had no better place to be than where he was now. It was comforting, knowing he was there.
But then, just as I was beginning to relax, the door creaked open once more. I held my breath. Who could it be this time? This time, Abel stood there, his eyes wide and hopeful. He looked so small, so innocent, standing in the doorway.
“Au–aunty?” he called softly, his voice trembling.
I set the spoon down and opened my arms, and he ran to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Y–y–you’re awa–awake!” he exclaimed, his voice muffled against me.
I hugged him tightly, feeling the weight of his worry and fear. “I’m here, Abel,” I whispered, stroking his hair. “I’m here.”
He pulled back, tears brimming in his eyes. “I–I–I w–was s–so s–s–scared,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “I th–thought… I th–thought y–you’d ne–never wa–wake up.”
My heart broke a little, seeing the fear in his eyes. I brushed away his tears, trying to smile reassuringly. “I’m awake now,” I said softly. “Thanks to
you.”
He sniffled, looking up at me with a mix of relief and lingering fear. “Y–you w–won’t le–leave again, ri–right?” he asked, his voice small and vulnerable.
I shook my head, my own eyes stinging with tears. “No, Abel,” I promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded, still clutching my hand as if afraid I might disappear. I glanced at Iris and Cassian, both of them watching us with gentle smiles. The room felt warmer, filled with a sense of unity and understanding. It was a strange, unfamiliar feeling—this safety, this acceptance.
For the first time in a long while, I felt like I had a place where I belonged. The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions, but sitting here, surrounded by these people, I felt a fragile hope stirring within me. Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. But deep down, I knew I was suppressing the dread of what I had seen.
