Chapter 7
Since that day, the silence between Steve and Evelyn grew longer, like an invisible chasm separating them. Steve would often lock himself in his study, holding our wedding photo in his hands, sitting there all night. Evelyn’s knocking seemed to come from another world–unheard, and more importantly, unwanted.
One day, Evelyn brought home a filthy stray dog, brimming with excitement as she tried to make it a new addition to our home. She casually grabbed a handwoven blanket I had made, intending to use it as bedding for the dog.
“Give that back!” Steve’s voice cut through the air, cold and biting like a winter wind.
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Evelyn froze, startled by his sudden outburst, her hands suspended in mid–air. “What’s wrong?” she asked cautiously, her voice tinged with hurt.
Steve ignored her question, striding forward to snatch the blanket from her grasp. He dusted it off with surprising gentleness, before snapping at her with uncharacteristic anger, “No dogs in this house!”
Evelyn stood there, stunned, her eyes filling with tears. “But I want a dog!” she argued defiantly. “I love dogs, and I want one!”
Steve’s head shot up, his gaze piercing. “You can have one,” he replied, each word deliberate and cutting. “But not in the home Rita and I shared!”
It was in that moment I realized–Steve had finally come to terms with his feelings.
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Steve began bombarding me with messages, day and night, as though he could break through the phone’s screen with the intensity of his texts.
“Rita, I’m sorry. Can we talk?”
“Rita, I don’t want a divorce. We can’t separate.”
“Rita, Eve and I are just friends. I’m helping her because she’s pregnant, don’t read too much into it.”
“Rita, let’s have a baby too.”
When I read that last message, I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.
For years, I had longed to have a child with Steve. Countless times, I’d brought it up, only
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to be rejected each and every time. He’d told me he didn’t like children. He didn’t want anything or anyone stealing my affection away from him.
And I believed him.
I had gone out of my way to ensure we used protection every time, and on the rare occasions we slipped, I’d taken emergency contraception, always putting his feelings
first.
But now?
Now, because Evelyn was pregnant, Steve suddenly wanted a child?
I could just picture him, when Evelyn asked if he wanted a boy or a girl, smiling fondly as he replied, “A son, to protect his mother.”
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“Or a daughter,” he might add with a wistful smile, “one as lovely as Rita.”
Steve’s smile would deepen as his eyes drifted to our wedding photo hanging on the wall. “As long as Rita’s the mother, I’ll love them no matter what.”
I froze, the fragmented pieces of a forgotten memory slowly coming back into focus, piecing themselves together.
A crushing pain surged through my chest, as though a boulder had been rolled over my heart. I slid down the wall, laughing and crying at the same time.
I remembered.
I was pregnant!
The reason I had rushed back after filing for
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divorce was because-
He didn’t want our child.
