13
We finally reach the inevitable step of divorce.
Two copies, witnessed by a lawyer.
We sign our names on those few thin pages.
As we sign the divorce papers, Kevin glances at me one more time.
“Haley, once we sign this, there’s no going back.”
I sign decisively.
“Goodbye.”
I leave him the house and Tommy, as compensation I take all our joint savings.
It’s not much – a card with a balance of $77,000.
Enough for me to travel somewhere to clear my head, then start over.
Besides that, there’s also a hefty wedding set.
Kevin looks at me and explains:
“I borrowed money from a friend to buy the jewelry. Please keep it.”
“Consider it my divorce gift to you.”
This is a good thing. It proves Kevin is learning to let go too.
As I walk out and press the elevator button, I realize Kevin is holding Tommy’s hand. They’re both standing in the doorway watching me.
Tommy clings to the doorframe, his hand fidgeting with the edge.
This is a sign he’s nervous.
Kevin gives Tommy a push. Tommy runs over and throws himself into my arms.
“Mom, I’ll miss you.”
I hug him tightly. After a while I push him away and ask, enunciating each word:
“Why did you write that you hoped Mom would die in your notebook?”
Tommy freezes. Big tears start pouring down his face.
He hugs me tightly again.
“Mom, I was wrong. I’m so sorry.”
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Kevin stands in the doorway too. I believe he finally understands now what I was asking him before.
Do you know how psychologically damaged our son has become?
He looks somewhat incredulous.
The elevator doors open. I pat Tommy’s head.
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“Mom understands. Go on, go to Dad.”
Tommy cries, tears hanging on his face as he wails.
“Mom I want to go with you.”
I let go of him, slowly prying his hands off me one by one.
“You can’t. You belong to your dad.”
He finally lets go, but stubbornly stands in the elevator doorway.
“Mom, can you forgive me?”
I look at him and smile.
I say, “No.”
Tommy cries. He can’t believe his own mother won’t forgive him, so he cries with t
teare
to
I’m crying too. My heart is crying. This is the baby I carried for 10 months and gave
The son I’ve held and cherished since the moment he was born.
His first time calling me Mama, his first time drinking milk, his first smile, his first cry, his first steps, his first day of school…
So many firsts I remember vividly.
It breaks my heart to see him cry, but I can’t forgive him.
I taught him right from wrong. I never hit or verbally abused him. I took care of him to the best of
Every time I was mistreated, I cried behind his back.
I even begged a man who betrayed me multiple times for his sake.
I had long decided I would keep this empty shell of a family for him.
Because I loved him too deeply, I can’t forgive.
The elevator doors close.
Tommy cries and tries to run in. He’s calling for Mama.
Kevin picks him up and carries him back to the apartment.
My precious baby.
This is the last lesson Mom will teach you.
Remember, not every mistake can be forgiven.
And hurt doesn’t disappear just because you’re forgiven.
I finally leave that home for good.
Sarah is waiting for me in her car downstairs.
yability.
I come out carrying my small suitcase. She leans against the car, smiling as she opens her arms to me.
I hand her the suitcase.
She sighs deeply as she loads it into the trunk.
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12:37 PM
<
Then she claps her hands and turns to look at me.
“So you’ve finally made up your mind this time.”
I smile, something I haven’t done in a long time.
“In a few days, I’ll be able to get the divorce certificate.”
“You’re not taking your son?”
“Those two are family. Kevin will take good care of him.”
Sarah looks back at me, tears in her eyes. She smiles and walks towards me.
“Congratulations, Haley.”
I hug her tightly.
I cry again, but this time it’s from genuine joy.
“Sarah, in my next life I don’t want to be a mother. I just want to shine my own light in the darkness, living only for myself.”
She hugs me, gently patting my shoulder. Her embrace is as soft and vast as her personality.
“Haley, you’re already living for yourself now.”
