14
On the day we officially get our divorce certificate, Kevin dresses very formally in an all–black suit.
I’ve reverted to my college style – a white shirt and jeans.
Much more casual than him.
Seeing me stare at him somewhat puzzled, he explains a bit awkwardly:
“It’s the same suit from our wedding. I secretly bought it later, as a memento.”
When we got married, we rented clothes for our ID photos to save money.
Once the divorce certificate is issued, Kevin’s eyes are red as he looks at me wistfully.
“I bought it secretly back then, always thinking there’d be a chance to wear it someday. Never imagined it would be today.”
Now that we’re divorced, looking at Kevin, he seems much more agreeable. His words are more amiable too.
It’s like he’s always been this way – witty and humorous.
Kevin has many friends. His bosses like him too, so he’s been promoted quickly and lives a lively life.
When we weren’t fighting, he often made me laugh out loud.
But that didn’t stop him from emotionally neglecting me, pushing me to hysteria.
What did I do in return?
I would slap him with all my might, scream and cry and curse, stand in the snow at midnight forcing him to come back…
I was hysterical and undignified, thinking I was loving with all my heart.
I was an absolute psycho. Even I found myself repulsive.
So I would convince myself that Kevin had reasons for not liking me and treating me coldly.
12:37 PM
<
Even for my child’s sake, I pretended to be sunny and cheerful every day.
But every so often when the anger and grievances became too much to bear, I would explode.
I was like an emotionally unstable lunatic, while no one knew the pain inside me was endless…
Thankfully, the light boat has passed through a thousand mountains.
in
as
“What are your plans for the future?” Kevin asks if I’m not his ex–wife but a friend.
A newlywed couple walks by. The husband smiles and asks his wife:
“Shall we go for hotpot now?”
The wife nods. The two leave arm in arm.
What plans?
I look at the vast blue sky stretching endlessly.
I smile up at him, closing my eyes to feel the wind brush past my fingertips.
“I plan to just breathe like this.”
