After a few revs, a black sedan speeds away.
Looks like I’ll have to bike Tommy to school again tomorrow.
I look at the notebook clutched in his hand.
And those eyes that look just..
his
s father’s.
For the first time, I deeply realize how trapped I’ve been by him all this time.
I force myself to walk to the bedroom and lie down.
When I close my eyes, the words “Mom disappear” appear before me in big letters.
To be fair, I’ve never had a hysterical meltdown in front of Tommy.
To avoid conflict, I’ve even gone to great lengths to please Kevin, sacrificing my dignity.
I beg Kevin to come home, beg him to hug our child.
I can’t fall asleep.
My phone on the nightstand lights up. It’s a message from my neighbor Sarah.
“I heard your husband slam the door and leave. Did you two fight again? Are you okay?”
Sarah is a friend I made when selling handmade crafts on eBay.
Back then Kevin was giving me the cold shoulder. To force me to give in, he cut off my living expenses.
I really had no income, so I tried my best to do odd jobs here and there to earn money.
We discovered we were neighbors after chatting a bit.
She even bought some of my stuff to support my business and showed concern for me.
I hear Tommy closing his door. I reply:
“Thanks Sarah, I’m fine.”
The next morning when I get up, I feel weak all over.
My eyes are swollen.
Kevin is back, the gardenia scent overpowered by the smell of alcohol.
He notices me, his eyes lingering on my face for just a moment before quickly looking away.
This time it’s not the cold shoulder. He frowns as he walks into the bathroom, making a snide remark.
“Looking like that, who are you trying to scare?”
I know he’s waiting for me to fight back, to watch me have a meltdown before coldly leaving again.
But I’m tired. I say nothing.
He looks at me with surprise, a strange emotion flashing in his eyes.
He walks into Tommy’s room affectionately.
“Come on, sweetie. Daddy will take you to school today.”
<
Two completely different attitudes, one after the other, as if he’s two different people.
Father and son hold hands intimately, exchanging loving words.
No one spares me a sin
word of c
concer
It’s like two knives stabbing into my chest.
