#Chaptér 84: Time to Process
+25 BONUS
Lenor and Jeaoul prepare a bed for me in their home, and somehow scrounge together some clothes that fit me relatively well, even if they are a little loose.
18
I take my first shower in probably three days, and after, I feel like a new woman. Yes…a woman. I’m not eighteen just yet, but I have grown since I left home. I have become a whole other person–a werewolf–and have attained a fresh identity.
I sit in my room with my journal. I have so much material for my play now, but that isn’t my focus. I need to work out my thoughts. After all, so much has come to fight in the past twenty–four hours. My parents are not who I thought they were, and one of them even tried to kill me. Then there’s the whole werewolf thing, and I’m not even some plain–jane one at that.
It’s a lot to process, but now that my shock is wearing off, I can think about things rationally. The pack is going to expect me to stay and fulfill my duty. The wolf in me wants to, but I have a whole other life I can’t disappear from. My human mother has no idea what I am. She took me in without question at a time when I was my most helpless and vulnerable, and I cannot leave her now. She still needs me. Now, perhaps I can be a strength to her.
So what will I do? What will I say to the pack? I have to decide what my future is going to look like. Will it be here? Well…probably…at some point. But I’m not ready yet. I’ve spent my whole life as a human, and I need to figure out what it’s like to be a werewolf before I can lead them.
I’m not sure what that means, but I guess I’ll figure it out.
What I do know is that I feel more for Alex now than I ever have. I need to figure out if there even is an us. Now that we can potentially be together, there is yet another wrench in our destiny: We’re from two different packs.
Sure, that may not always be an issue, but what if both lovers are the Alpha and Luna of two separate packs? How would that work? I don’t know if it can….
Just when I thought things were falling in place, the answers I finally get only lead to more questions. What does Alex think of all this? What will he say? What does he want? I so desperately want to speak with him.
“There will be a dinner tonight in your honor,” Jeaoul tells me when I finally emerge clean, dried, and only slightly dazed by the events of the day.
I don’t know why I would expect anything else, but it does take me by surprise. I nod. “That would be wonderful.” “Is there anything you need until then?”
“No, thank you.” I look around the room. “Have you seen Alex?”
“He went with Charles to find the rogues. You should rest now.”
Why did that not occur to me? If Alex isn’t here, I need to allow my exhaustion to set in. Suddenly, the thought of clean, cool sheets is appealing.
“I think I will, thank you. Will you wake me when Alex returns?”
“Of course.”
I return to my room and close the door. The first thing I do is call my mother. I didn’t get to call her last night because I was busy chasing a killer and turning into a werewolf. She’s probably freaking out now.
In spite of everything I want to say to her, when Mom answers, I still with the typical banter. I explain that I fell asleep early because I haven’t been feeling well. This should cover me if she notices anything when I return.
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+25 BONUS
#Chapter 84: Time to Process
I promise I will call her again that night, then we hang up. feel guilty. But if we talk about any of this–and that’s a big if–then it can’t be over the phone.
Now that I know she is okay, and that she understands I am I can sleep with a clear conscience. I slide into the sheets and pull them up to my chin, then I fall fast asleep.
When I wake up, the sheets are down
ound my feet and my head is full of dreams: dreams of running, of
shifting, of blood. Shadows, mostly, and blurry images.
I hear a knock and realize that is what woke me.
“Coming,” I call out. I get up, straighten my t–shirt and shorts with my hands, and run my fingers through my hair. I expect it’s Lenor or Jeaoul, and I don’t want them to see me a mess.
When I open the door, I’m surprised to see Alex. His face beams when he sees me. “God, you’re so sexy with bedhead.”
I become very conscious of my messy hair and try to pat it down. “Sorry.”
“Why? I love it.” He leans a shoulder against the door’s frame and it strikes me how tall he is. Not for the first time, but like the first time. I breathe him in and he can sense what I’m doing.
Alex licks his lips and stalks in. I back up as he approaches, his raw energy leading me backward until my knees hit the bed.
I stop and he steps up to me so I can inhale his pine scent. It’s erotic. The pulse between us is booming, throbbing.
“I just came to check on you,” he says with a whisper. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
He leans his face down and my inner wolf reaches out to him. I feel the growl before I hear it. And that was all he
needed to hear.
Alex puts one arm behind my back and one hand in my hair pulling my entire body into his. In an instant, his mouth is on mine, open and eager.
I eagerly meet him, opening to his warmth, to his tongue’s caress. And this kiss is…different. There is more in it- like whatever has been holding him back has disappeared. Or maybe he’s letting his inner wolf out.
My hesitation is also gone. I allow my body to relax, falling backward. Alex falls on top of me, his muscular frame covering me.
I can’t feel him close enough, and now my hands are behind him, in his hair, pulling. Only gently at first, then urgently. My wolf is definitely out.
He responds by moving my body back so he can lay over me. The heat between us is fierce. When his shirt lifts and the bare skin of his belly touches mine, it feels like we could ignite.
Oliver was my first real experience at making out. Hell, he was my first real kiss. In the moment, I thought that experience was so intense.
But I was wrong. I don’t know if it is my inner wolf, or the fury of everything that has passed in the last few days, but I let myself go give myself over to my desire for Alex. Never in a million years did I imagine I would end up
‘ot then, with someone like him. Someone so desirable and…special. I mean, there was nothing special about i
anyway.
Funny how that works out.
My full focus is on his exploring his back and shoulders with my hands as our bodies rub and our mouths intertwine. I love the ridges between his muscles and dips in his curvature. I’m going to learn every one of them
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+25 BONUS
#Chapter 84: Time to Process
so I know him by touch.
In the meantime, he’s being respectful. He doesn’t know my boundaries, and he’s making sure to keep everything below the bra and above my pant line. Well, mostly. A finger may occasionally dip under the hem of my shorts to tease the skin there.
I don’t stop him. I want it. Part of me wants so much more all of it. Especially when his hips press against mine.
Damn.
He pulls back, his breath heavy and his nose against mine. I love you, Cynthia.”
“I love you, too, Alex.”
He kisses me again, this time it is gentler. I can tell my lips are swollen as they brush his.
He stops again. “I want to do this right. Not now, not here.”
“You’re right. We need to work everything out.”
He leans back, tucking my hair behind my ear and staring at my face. “You’re so beautiful.”
“And you’re not answering me.”
He nods. “We can talk. Why don’t you get some clothes on and walk with me?”
“Okay.”
He sits back on the bed and gives me a last, hungry look before standing. “I’ll be outside.”
Alex closes the door behind him and I slip off the bed. Elated. Thrilled. I jump up and down, trying to keep my excited–girl squeal quiet, but I can’t help but jump out of my skin with happiness.
