Sota found me sitting on the floor of the bedroom, back against the windowsill, staring at Joey’s side of the bed. It was still rumpled from where she’d slept in it the night before.
There were still some of the clothes, thrown over the chair in the corner, some of her makeup in the bathroom and a bottle of her perfume, on the bedside table.
“Alex?” I didn’t look up as he stepped into the room. “Alex, Oliver sent me to check on you.”
This time I did look up. Sota frowned and walked over to me, crouching in front of me.
“Where is Jolene?”
“With Jake.”
Those two words had my bottom lip trembling, and I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying. Again,
I’d bawled like a fucking baby for the last five hours, ignoring my phone, which was why Sota would be in front of me right
now.
“She went back to Miami, to my brother.”
The big man sighed, and I opened my eyes and looked at him.
He’d be able to see how red my eyes were, how defeated I looked.
“Did Olive organize a fight?”
Sota nodded. “The only one who would though, is Reija.”
Crap.
Reiji was one of my sparring partners when I trained for the annual fight, he was quick and good at the best of times. I knew he would kick my ass, because I wouldn’t have my head in the game. “Fine. What time!”
“Alex, are you sure you want to do this? You’re not
“Sota, What. Time.” I asked again, and he frowned.
“Six.”
“Good. Let me go and have a shower, then we will go.” I struggled to my feet, slapping Sota’s hand out of the way when he tried to help and walked toward the bathroom. I stopped just shy of it and turned, looking at the things on Joey’s side of the bed, before turning back to Sota. “Can you go down to the utility room and find a box? I want to put all Joey’s things in it.” Sota opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly and nodded, as 1 disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. If she was determined not to come back, then there was no point in holding on to her things.
I’d donate what I could and throw the rest.
Throwing on the taps, I stripped off and climbed into the almost scalding water and quickly scrubbed myself, rubbing the sea sponge over my skin probably a little too hard, not that the pain did a darned thing for the thoughts running through my head
When my skin was stinging and almost red raw, I turned off the taps and climbed out, wrapping a towel around my waist and leaning against the vanity, staring at myself in the mirror.
What more could I have possibly given her?
What was it that made it so hard for her to stay?
Was it the tattoos
No, she had been fascinated by them and had often lay in my arms, tracing the outlines of them, or telling me what one I should get in which spot, until she fell asleep
Was it my age? I was nine years older than she was, but it had never come up in any of the conversations we had.
“It wasn’t you.” I muttered, staring at myself. “It was your asshole brother.”
Mother’s baby.
The golden child.
43–Airs
The wanker who had stolen away the woman I had started to consider building a life with.
And it was her.
Jolene Brewster was still conditioned to Jake. To his cries of help. His pleading and promises of being the savior in her life. Of being the only one she needed. He’d been doing it for so long, she didn’t know any difference, and she would always go
back to him.
“Fuck.”
My head lowered and I gripped the side of the vanity, trying to stop the need to smash my hand into the mirror.. I was stronger than this.
“But there’s never been anyone like her…” I muttered to myself and knew, after this, even if it was years after Joey left, I would never be able to give myself to a woman like I had with her.
I would go back to how I had been. Sleeping with a woman, then moving on to the next, because it was the easier thing to
- do.
I didn’t wa
want attachments; I didn’t want love
That shit just left you broken and used. The love I had from my parents was a prime example. No matter what I gave, I was still just second to Jake and always would be.
What was the point?
A knock on the bathroom door and I sighed, turning my head. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
I was grateful Sota was there,
1 had started to dip into blackness, and he had managed to pull me out.
Opening the door, I walked out into the room, to see the box on the floor at the end of the bed, and the bedroom door closed. I blinked and walked to it, looking into its depths.
This was where everything of Joey’s would go.
But not right now.
Turning away from it, I walked to my wardrobe and opened it, pulling out sweatpants and a muscle shirt. Dressing, I tossed the towel into the bathroom and picked up my pair of trainers and some socks and made my way downstairs.
Sota was waiting by the door, and I grabbed the keys to the house, and we left.
Driving to the club, we didn’t speak, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe one day, I might open up about the beautiful woman who had tamed me, then slain me. But it wouldn’t be right now.
Arriving at the rear of the club, I walked into the back and greeted Reiji
“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, frowning
“Just get in the ring, Reiji.” I spat, stripping off my shoes and shirt, tossing them to the side, as I climbed into the makeshift ring used for underground fighting. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
Reiji nodded and joined me, and with the first fist blow to my cheekbone, I almost forgot about the last two months with Jory.
