- The cockroach says that things happen for a reason. Could it be true?
- The cockroach says that things happen for a reason. Could it be true?
Juan Luis
I stand frozen outside the door of my former home. Amy didn’t care about hitting me, on the contrary, I think she wanted to see me hurt. I know she won’t open the door for me again, so I walk away. I just got out of the hospital tonight, and the first thing I did was come looking for them. I’m sure she won’t believe me if I tell her that I also wanted to know how she was doing, but it’s clear that she’s furious. I understand her perfectly. Everything she said is true. I’ve been a jerk to her, for cheating on her, but what I feared most came true. She found out by chance, and now she hates me.
I have no excuse. When I met Katty, I didn’t think I would feel anything for her, but as we got to know each other, the mutual attraction arose, and it reached the point where I wanted to try something more. But I didn’t want to leave my home either. Now, I don’t have to choose. If I tell Amelia that even though I started a relationship with someone else, I haven’t slept with her, she won’t believe me. Tomorrow, I’ll have to talk to my lawyer to get in touch with hers. Apparently, it’s all over since that night three weeks ago. The day of my wedding anniversary. What a bad joke.
As I’m thinking about all this, the faces of my children come to mind. I’m sure they are very disappointed in me, but they are not so little anymore. I’m sure they will understand that sometimes love ends. I was happy with their mother, but now there is someone else I’m interested in, and I have to face it. I don’t understand what Amelia meant when she said my mother went to threaten them. I suppose she was going to talk to them so they would know I was better, but it seems she made everything
worse.
I decide to go straight to her house, which is where I’ll be staying these days. I was thinking of stopping by Katty’s apartment for a while, but I’d better leave that for tomorrow. I’m driving with some difficulty, as the dizziness hasn’t completely gone away, but the face of my still–wife appears in my mind. Never, in fifteen years, has she looked at me the way she just did. The disappointment in her eyes is etched into me. I hope I’m not making a mistake because, otherwise, this will be a mistake I can never make up for.
It’s late, so no servants are awake, so I park and get out of the car. This is the first time in years that I’ve arrived at my mother’s house at this hour. I open the door, and darkness greets me. Whenever I had to stay late, leaving work, my wife would wait up for me to have dinner with me and talk about our day. Those days are gone. I sigh deeply. Those moments seem so far away.
I go straight up to my room, where I already have some things. My mother took care of getting everything I needed. The medications I have to take are on the table along with a glass of water. When I finish taking them, I lie down on the bed. I put my hand on my forehead. If I say I don’t miss my home and my family, I would be lying. I long to see my children’s faces and Amelia’s company. I can’t deny that we were happy these past fifteen years. I thought the love would never end, but apparently, it ran out without my noticing.
Like a flashback, the moment it all began comes to mind. When I started developing the app that Katty’s father asked me to, I didn’t think my life would change completely. She arrived with her youth and beauty to revolutionize my life. We started sharing a lot of time together. From the beginning, I began to notice a certain attraction from her towards me, but I didn’t want to think about it. She is a beautiful girl who can have any man she wants, however, during the long talks we shared, a friendship was forged. I felt comfortable in her presence, so many times, we lost track of time.
It was precisely three months ago that everything changed. She didn’t take her car, so I offered to drive her home. On the way, she asked me to stop for a moment, so I parked the car on the sidewalk. Without warning, she leaned in, searching for my lips. I didn’t refuse but responded fervently. I was very excited; however, I knew this was wrong. I was a married man, and she, a daughter from a good family. From then on, we took advantage of any moment to kiss, and although we were about to go to the next level, the thought of my family always stopped me. I couldn’t let her become my lover, so I promised her that I would work things out. When I was finally free, I would make her mine, not before. She reluctantly accepted but understood my position.
There were several occasions when I tried to talk to Amelia, however, I never had the courage. If it hadn’t been for the accident, maybe I’d still be hesitant to tell her. Things happen for a reason, so now I just have to end my marriage. I hope that one day she can forgive me, although I know it won’t be soon. I must give her a good pension, as the children have many needs, and she has never worked. So, while she looks for something to do, I will take care of supporting her.
I know I’m a wretch, but I couldn’t keep cheating on Amy and keeping Katty hidden. I know I will be happy with Katty. And someday, maybe Amelia will realize that we weren’t meant for each other and find someone who will make her happy too. Although thinking about it makes me somewhat uneasy, I must accept it.
“Son! What time did you get in last night? Did you see the children?” My mother finds me having breakfast in the dining room. I have to find out what happened with what Amelia told me, so I waited for her before going to the office but I don’t think she’ll tell me the truth.
“I arrived at midnight, but they were all asleep. No, I couldn’t see the children, but Amelia told me something I want to ask you, and please don’t lie to me. Did you go to threaten the children at school?” My mother’s eyes widen. It’s her sign that she’s looking for an excuse to defend herself.
“Of course not! That woman and her children are liars. You know I’m incapable of doing such a thing.” I don’t want to doubt what my ex–wife told me, but I don’t want to doubt my mother either.
“Okay, mother, let’s leave it at that.” She sits down with a look of sadness on her face. I’m sure she won’t let me continue with the subject.
“Don’t forget to look for Mr. Bustillo to meet with that woman. The divorce must come out soon. Katty’s family will start to pressure, and they are very important.” Apparently, what interests her is to be related to them soon, but I also want to show Katty freely to the world. She has waited for me without asking for anything in return. I owe her that. I sigh and head to my office. Let’s see how the divorce goes.
On the way to the office, I can’t shake the feeling of discomfort. During this month, I have gone out of my routine, and I don’t feel satisfied. It’s like something is missing. It must be the absence of my children. Normally I was in charge of taking them to school, so having this free time is strange. As I think about this, a feeling of emptiness
washes over me.
What if I’m making a mistake? What if I realize that I let go of what made me happy? What if Amy never forgives me? No, I don’t want to think about those things. Everything will be fine. I trust that I am doing the right thing for everyone. From now on, I should focus solely on Katty, although my children will always hold a very important place in my life.
