My fingers tighten around the phone 88

Aria’s POV
“Good morning, feeling better?” Ethan asked softly, still holding my son in his arms. I had just caught the tail end of their
conversation, and my heart clenched painfully. My miserable past once again laid bare for him to see, along with the
impossible situation we found ourselves in—he couldn’t resolve his relationship with Emma, yet my son wanted him as a
father.
“I’m fine,” I lied. My stomach still churned, and dizziness coupled with nausea threatened to overwhelm me. The fever
had broken during the night, but I’d still been vomiting on and off. After waking up alone in bed, I’d immediately rushed
to the bathroom to dry heave until my stomach somewhat settled.
I could hardly believe what I’d overheard. Lucas had never asked anyone about his father before. The topic only came up
when my father Marcus mentioned it. I had thought I’d made it clear that those conversations should be directed to me.
Ethan belonged to Emma. I couldn’t let Lucas get hurt by Ethan’s half-hearted promises.
Lucas wiggled out of Ethan’s embrace and jumped into my arms. The feeling of him holding me tightly settled something
deep within my body. I pulled Lucas closer, inhaling his scent, drawing comfort from his warmth. “How’s my baby
feeling?” I murmured against his hair.
“I’m sorry I wet the bed, Mom. Ethan helped clean it, and we made soup and pancakes!” Lucas rambled excitedly, the words tumbling out in a rush. I smiled down at him, not wanting to make him feel bad, but I desperately needed to speak
with Ethan alone.
“I’m glad Ethan was here to help, but he needs to go home now. Can you finish your breakfast while I help Ethan get his
things?” I asked sweetly, but my tone carried an undercurrent I hoped Ethan would understand.
“Okay, Mom.” Lucas bounced back to his chair, picking up his fork with renewed enthusiasm.
Ethan leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Lucas’s head, and fire burned through my veins. It was exactly this kind
of action that confused both Lucas and me. He couldn’t give Lucas false hope like this. I turned away, ignoring the
churning in my stomach, and walked toward the bedroom. Ethan followed close behind me. I spun around, ready to
confront him, but the words died in my throat as I registered his bare chest for the first time. Heat rushed to my cheeks
as my heart began hammering against my ribcage with such force I was certain he could hear it. I hadn’t noticed in the
kitchen that he was wearing only sweatpants.
The knowing look in those emerald depths only intensified the burning in my cheeks and the fluttering sensation in my
stomach that had nothing to do with my illness. When my thoughts began functioning again, I blurted out, “You can’t be
Lucas’s father.”
“Starting with the fight right away, huh?” Ethan’s jaw clenched so tightly I could hear his teeth grinding, like stones being
crushed together. I watched his broad shoulders rise and fall with several deliberate breaths, the muscles in his back
flexing with each inhale. Finally, he nodded, the movement sharp and jerky. “You’re right. I’m not.”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down, a flicker of surprise washing over me that he’d surrendered the point so
readily. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. “If Lucas brings this up again, tell him to talk to me.”
Ethan’s jaw muscle twitched violently beneath his skin, a pulse of tension that traveled all the way to his clenched fists.
“He asked me because he trusts me enough to discuss it.”
“That doesn’t matter, Ethan,” I snapped, my voice rising with each word. “He’s MY son, not YOURS! Lucas’s father is offlimits as a topic.” I slashed my hand through the air like I was cutting the very possibility from existence.
“I could be his father if you’d accept becoming my future Luna,” Ethan growled, the words erupting from him like lava
bursting from a volcano. Each syllable scorched the air between us.
My mouth fell open, eyes widening with incredulity that he would dare bring this up now. The audacity stole my breath.
“No,” I finally managed, the single word sharp enough to draw blood.
“Why?” Ethan demanded, taking a step closer. His hands opened in a gesture that was half frustration, half plea, his
expression cracking open to reveal the desperation beneath. “Give me one good reason, Aria.”
Somewhere deep inside me, a voice screamed to surrender, to let go of the walls I’d built, to let our problems stop mattering—to just be brave and try. The voice begged me to grab his face and kiss him until neither of us remembered
why we were fighting. But my heart clenched painfully, reminding me of how much this hurt, of the nightmares that still
haunted me.
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“You know exactly why,” I hissed, the words escaping through clenched teeth.
Ethan stared at me, seemingly at a loss for what to do next. We were both breathing heavily with anger because in the
light of day, our problems still existed. Our lives were still a mess, and nothing had been resolved.
“I thought last night changed something.” Ethan placed his hand on my arm, his other hand cupping my cheek, closing
the distance between us. Those emerald eyes of his peered deep into my soul, but I knew all he’d find there was pain,
hurt, and anger.
“Last night was just a dream.”
Desperation and pain flashed in Ethan’s eyes. He dropped his hands, but his gaze still pleaded with me. Finally, he ran his
hands through his hair, blowing out a breath from the corner of his mouth. “Thanks for the reality check, Aria.”
I blinked away tears, remembering last night. I swallowed the lump in my throat, crossing my arms over my chest. Ethan
glanced around for his duffel bag, pulling out a T-shirt and yanking it over his head. Only then did I realize how long he
must have stayed, taking care of both Lucas and me. My heart ached even more, and another section of my defensive wall crumbled, but I couldn’t let myself fall apart. This was better for everyone.
Then he grabbed his wallet, phone, and car keys, which were somehow on my bedside table. Ethan walked slowly toward
me, leaning down to brush his lips against my cheek, whispering, “It was my favorite dream.”
Then he left me standing in the center of the room, the ghost of his lips still warm against my cheek. The moment I heard
the front door close with a soft, final click, something shattered inside me. My knees buckled, and I crumpled to the floor.
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Tears flooded my eyes and spilled down my cheeks in hot, messy streams, my shoulders shaking so hard they ached. I
pressed my palms against the cool hardwood floor, trying to anchor myself against the storm of emotion, but it was
useless.
“It was mine too,” I whispered softly to the empty room, the words dissolving into another broken cry that seemed to
echo the hollow space expanding in my chest.
My breathing was still shaky, hiccupping with the aftershocks of sobs, when Lucas stormed into my bedroom. “What did
you say to Ethan?” he demanded, his voice cracking slightly as he took in my tear-streaked face and red-rimmed eyes.
I knelt down to Lucas’s eye level. “Lucas, Ethan had to leave.”
“No! You made him mad. He just said he would stay and help me with my history project model.” Lucas cried out, his
little face flushing red with emotion.
“Baby, Ethan just has things to do,” I tried to soothe him.
“No!” Lucas stomped his foot. “I heard you! You said he can’t be my dad! But I want a dad…” His voice cracked on the last word, his shoulders slumping with disappointment.
My heart sank, tears spilling over. I couldn’t control them. “Lucas, he isn’t your dad. I don’t know who your dad is, okay? I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. And Ethan can’t be your dad because he’s with someone else, and Emma comes
first for him.”
Lucas continued crying, his sobs weak and helpless as he hadn’t fully recovered from his illness. His repeated cries about
wanting a father only intensified my guilt.
I reached out to hug him, but Lucas batted my hands away and ran back to his room, slamming the door. I collapsed onto
the floor, covering my mouth with my hands as sobs wracked my body. My stomach cramped, and my heart told me I
was making a huge mistake, but my mind knew this was right.