Nature is not a place to visit 44

Chapter 44
*“We each belong. But where?”*
*Anthony T. Hincks*
It was weird.
Just when I’d been complaining about the isolation of Ambrose and I’s love bubble, I felt even more perturbed now that
it’d been popped. The castle was now filled to the brim with at least a hundred strangers, all eager to be as helpful as
possible.
In nearly a week, we’d all settled into a new routine as Akeem’s pack found where they fit best in the castle. Some helped
in the kitchen, churning out homecooked meals that made my taste buds sing.
*Turns out, surviving on canned goods and beef jerky while traveling does make you miss the taste of anything cooked
on a stove.*
Others worked on the renovation of the castle, quickly turning the palace into something that felt brand new. When I
walked through the corridors or passed by the freshly-planted flowers, it didn’t feel like I could call this place a ‘ruin’
anymore. It didn’t feel damaged by the past anymore.
Akeem’s pack had breathed new life into it.
Other pack members, the youngest of the group, stationed themselves at the gate and took patrol shifts.
And then there was Akeem. He was, as I was beginning to learn, one of the most intelligent people I’d ever met in my life. He was well-educated on almost every aspect of werewolf culture – even things I was unfamiliar with. He’d taken it upon
himself to update Ambrose on everything that had happened in the past millennium.
Even just a week here, and he was already settling into his role as one of Ambrose’s advisors like it was a well-worn shoe.
And then there was me.
I was still figuring out where I fit in here. Although being mated to Ambrose felt natural, like a missing piece falling into
place, I could not say the same for my role as his co-ruler. Or Queen, I guess. Even that felt like a foreign word when
attached to my name, like trying on a pair of pants way too big.
It’s not that Akeem’s pack wasn’t respectful – they were. They bowed their heads when they saw me, called me all the
royal titles, and were always ready to help when I needed it.
And yet, I still felt out of place.
I found myself missing my home more and more over the course of that first week – even as I tried to remind myself that
this was my home now, that these people were part of my pack now.
It probably didn’t help that I was still getting radio silence from both Rae and Hudson. Really, anyone from my former
pack – I’d even tried reaching out to Mrs. Butters.
A pit had begun forming in my stomach. Rae and Hudson might’ve been too busy for me, but to be ignored by Mrs.
Butters? That woman lived and breathed for small talk and gossip.
Something was wrong.
I planned to tell Ambrose my anxieties when we sat down for dinner in our newly-renovated dining room that night, but
in the meantime, I tried drowning my anxieties in the library.
Not that I was doing much reading. Most of the books – or tombs and parchments, I should say – were too worn with
age to read or written in a language I couldn’t understand.
Still, the solace of the library and its giant church windows and endless shelves felt nice. This part of the castle had
already been renovated, so I could count on a little piece and quiet when I hung out there.
“Do you mind if I join you, Your Majesty?”
*Of course, just as I’m talking about peace and quiet, somebody interrupts me.*
I straightened up in my chair and plastered a smile on my face immediately as I turned to face Akeem, who was standing
at the entrance of the library. “No, of course not,” I said, and I watched as he entered without hesitation, taking a seat on
one of the vintage plush recliners across from me.
Now that he’d had a proper shower and wasn’t covered in travel-induced dirt and grime, I’d realized that Akeem was a
fairly attractive man. His hair was already turning gray, but he couldn’t have been older than thirty-five. When he smiled
or spoke of some historical topic, the lines of age on his face seemed to disappear.
Akeem glanced at one of the shelves by his chair, his eyes lighting up when he came across a particular tomb. “Oh, look
at this!” he said excitedly, pulling out a dusty book that looked like it was one shake from falling apart completely. When
he opened it, a cartoonish cloud of dust flew into the air, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Pretty sure that hasn’t been opened in a thousand years, maybe more,” I said.
The dust caused a coughing fit, but once he’d waved it all way, Akeem looked up at me with an excited grin. “Do you
know what this is?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Well, it looks to be a *very* old copy of *The Odyssey*,” he told me as he began leafing through the pages. I wasn’t
even sure you could call them pages – they looked to be more like parchment. “You’ve heard of *The Odyssey*, yes?” The
question wasn’t asked in a condescending way. Akeem sounded as if he just wanted someone to share in his excitement.
“A little bit,” I admitted, “Although classical literature wasn’t exactly a huge priority in my pack.”
He nodded. “Mine either, but history has always been very important to my family. I won’t bore you with the details, but
it’s all about loyalty and vengeance. If you ever have the time, you might enjoy it…especially if you can find a copy that’s
in a little bit better shape.”
“You’re welcome to borrow it and take it to your room, I’m sure Ambrose won’t mind,” I said, “He’s got a whole
collection of stuff from Ancient Greece and Rome.”
“Yes, he does,” Akeem looked thoughtful for a moment before he gently closed the tomb, and placed it back on the shelf,
“But a book like this deserves to stay in the library, where it can be useful. Besides, my true motivations for coming here weren’t to ogle at the collection, but to speak with you.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Me?”
Since Akeem’s pack had gotten settled, nobody had really needed me for anything. Except maybe Ambrose, but I wasn’t
sure he counted. We were mates, after all. We’d always need and seek each other out.
“Yes,” he nodded, “During my time here, I’ve been quite occupied with the Moon God. I’ve felt the need to fill in every
gap of knowledge he might be missing from the time he was away. My family has always kept a written record of werewolf history and culture, so I’m privy to the small details that most aren’t.”
“It’s certainly been helpful,” I told him, “And I know that Ambrose appreciates it.”
“However,” Akeem said, clasping his hands together and leaning forward, “I also don’t want to neglect my duty to you,
Your Majesty.”
“To me?” I repeated, and I couldn’t stop the nervous chuckle that followed. “What duty do you have to me?”
“Yes,” he replied, “I suppose I’ve taken it upon myself to advise your mate – as much as he’s willing, of course – but you
are the rightful Queen. I want to offer the same to you.”
“That’s nice of you,” I told him, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, “Although I’m not sure you need to update me
on werewolf culture and history. I’m not the one missing a thousand years.”
Akeem looked pensive, like he was truly considering my words. After a minute, he said, “I suppose you’re right.”
*I am?*
*Well, I guess I knew that already, but I wasn’t expecting the guy to admit it so easily.*
“But counsel doesn’t always have to be so educational,” he continued, “Perhaps I can advise you…more as a friend.” He
paused before adding, “I apologize if this seems out of line, Your Majesty, but you’ve seemed a little lost since I’ve been
here. I understand you followed your mate here, but you also left your people behind. I can imagine that must feel quite
isolating, regardless of how many people you’re around.”
I hadn’t expected Akeem to be so observant. I debated brushing him off, telling him he was wrong. He was still mostly a
stranger to me…but as I looked at him, I couldn’t feel an ounce of malicious intent.
He seemed genuine. Like he truly wanted to be of some use to me.
After a moment of mulling it over, I took a deep breath and said, “I suppose there’s some truth to that.” I swallowed
before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy I’m here. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere besides where Ambrose is,
and I’m excited to see what the future holds.”
Akeem raised an eyebrow. “But…?”
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“But it’s a little jarring,” I admitted, “You all have this intense respect and loyalty for Ambrose because you know what he
can do, what he *has* done for werewolves before he was put to sleep by the witches.”
“You don’t think we have respect or loyalty for you?” Akeem asked, and his thick eyebrows knit together.
“It’s not that,” I said, “You’re all respectful and I have no doubt you’d be loyal to me…but I also know that loyalty is
because of Ambrose.”
Understanding dawned on his face. “You think we see you as an extension of the Moon God.”
“In some ways, yes,” I said, “And I get – I do. I’m just a regular wolf like the rest of you. I didn’t create werewolves and I
don’t have magical powers. I’m sitting in this castle because of Ambrose, and I’m willing to admit that, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a little isolating. I want respect and loyalty because I’ve earned it, not because I happened to win the mate lottery. And I realize this probably all sounds ridiculous, considering what kind of position I’m in, but…”
“No, not at all, Your Majesty,” Akeem assured me, “Although I may be able to offer a different perspective here.”
“I’m all ears.”
“You said you don’t want obligatory respect just because you ‘won the mate lottery,’” he started, “But I think you’re
being a little casual with that term. A lottery suggests that our mates are just random pairings, picked out of thin air
without any kind of care. And if that were the case, I think we’d have a lot more people rejecting the bond.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “And you and I both know that’s not the case – the Moon God
designed our mates to be our other halves, the perfect ‘yin’ to our ‘yang,’ so to speak.”
Akeem’s words felt familiar. My mind flashed to the day in the woods, where Ambrose had told me something similar.
“And with that in mind,” he continued, “You must realize you are the Moon God’s mate because of *you* and everything
that makes you who you are…which leads me to believe you’ll be a great Queen. Not just one whose an extension of her mate or given loyalty out of obligation. And while that loyalty and respect might feel like it’s out of obligation now, it’s
only because you haven’t had time to prove yourself yet. You’re young. You haven’t had centuries to mold yourself into a
great ruler,” he told me, a smile curving onto the corner of his lips, “But the fact that you’re able to keep up with a man
who has…gives me great hope that you will be a ruler worth writing history books about.”
I hadn’t expected the conversation with Akeem to lead anywhere, but I found myself with a renewed sense of confidence.
Maybe there was some truth to his words. Maybe I just needed to shift my perspective a little bit, stop focusing on what I
hadn’t accomplished yet and try to figure out what I could.
I sighed. “You know, Akeem,” I said, and I couldn’t help but smile, “I think you’ve got this advisor thing down-pat.”
He smiled back at me and opened his mouth to reply, but heavy, rushed footsteps drew both of our attention before he
could.
One of the new guards assigned to the gate suddenly burst through the library doors, looking frantic and terrified.
I was on my feet immediately, trying to bury my own concern at how fearful he looked. Had something happened to
Ambrose?
“Your Majesty,” the guard said, “You must come quick. There’s a couple of people at the gate, and one of them appears
to be gravely…injured.”
My stomach sank. “Injured?”
“Yes – he claims he is your brother.”
I bolted out the door before he’d even finished his sentence.