Then he laughed. “Are you kidding me? I treat
you like a queen! And now you’re dumping me? Why?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I was. I’d known for a while I didn’t love him,
but I’d let my family pressure me. This was my
fault.
<
1000
92
“I don’t want your apology!” he shouted. “If you’re so sorry, then don’t reject me! After
everything I’ve done for you, is this how you repay me?”
Tears streamed down my face. He was crying too. Guilt paralyzed me.
He started to… force himself on me. I felt numb. Then my phone rang.
It snapped me out of my stupor. His hand was under my skirt… I recoiled, shoving him away and fleeing. I didn’t hear what he yelled after me. I ran down the stairs, out of the building, into the pouring rain.
I didn’t realize I’d left without my phone or keys until much later. I couldn’t go back. I hailed a cab and went to my mom’s. She asked what
happened, but I couldn’t talk. I just wanted to
sleep.
く
The next morning, I woke up with a raging cold.
I called in sick. My colleague informed me
Ethan had denied my request. Great. I dragged
myself to work, feeling like a zombie.
By lunchtime, everyone had gone out except
- me. Then Ethan walked in.
“What the hell happened to you?”
His words sparked anger. “Isn’t this what you
wanted?” I croaked.
After all these years, he’d fired me without a
second thought. And now, when I was sick, he’d
told me to come in or quit. My mom had
freaked out and made me come in. How had
things gotten so twisted between us? How
much did he hate me? This was the guy I’d had
a crush on.
He stared, his expression hardening. “Go get
some medicine.”
<
9:06
92
“No.” I just wanted to sleep.
“You’re wasting company money like this.”
Company money? Seriously? I snapped. “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me call in sick! What do you want from me, Ethan? Do you want me dead?”
He seemed taken aback by my outburst, his face unreadable. A few minutes later, I was slumped at my desk, assuming he was gone. Suddenly, someone tugged at my sleeve.
“Get up. Go get some medicine. Or at least eat something. I’ll approve your sick leave.”
He hadn’t left? Ugh.
“No.”
He went quiet, then whispered, “Please.”
<
His mood swings were baffling. I gave in and
went with him to the pharmacy. He even bought
me soup and fed it to me, spoonful by spoonful.
“Eat before you take your meds,” he grumbled.
I stared at him, bewildered by his sudden
tenderness. It felt… wrong.
“Doctor’s orders,” he growled.
He drove me to my mom’s. We rode in silence,
which was fine. My mind was reeling from the
night before with Josh.
“Where did you get that bruise?” He glanced at
my wrist at a red light.
I quickly hid it. Josh must have grabbed me too
hard. “I bumped into something.”
He didn’t reply, just stared until I looked away.
“Did he hit you?” His voice was low and
9:06
92
dangerous.
“No.” I answered too quickly. He didn’t believe
- me.
He pulled over, lit a cigarette, and looked at me. “What the hell is he?” He was clearly furious.
I didn’t understand his sudden anger. “His name is Josh.”
“I don’t give a damn what his name is!” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, the horn blaring, startling nearby birds.
“What is wrong with you?” After the fight with Josh, I was exhausted. I didn’t have the energy for another argument.
He took a drag of his cigarette, composing himself. Then he turned to me, his eyes intense. “Amy, are you an idiot?”
<
9:06
92
“Where’s the girl who toyed with me, dumped me, and treated me like dirt?” he asked, a bitter smile twisting his lips. “How did you end up like this?”
I was speechless.
“Or… is it just me you can be yourself with?” He chuckled sadly, his eyes welling up.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. “People grow up, Ethan. Life knocks you around. I can’t afford to be reckless anymore.”
I tilted my chin up, trying to maintain some composure. “From the beginning, there was a world between us. So, who dumped who? I
wasn’t even in your league…”
I wiped my tears, opened the car door, and got
out. It felt good to finally say it, to voice the
feelings I’d buried for years.
く
I hailed a cab, a strange lightness settling over
me, yet leaving a hollow ache in its place.
Maybe that’s what unrequited love was. By the
time I realized I might actually have feelings for
Ethan, it was too late. My crush had morphed
into something painful, fueled by the gaping
chasm between our lives. He’d gone abroad,
making us even more impossible. And he didn’t
like me, so why bother humiliating myself?
Seeing him back, my boss, reinforced my
—
decision to stay away. But his question had I
dumped him? – sparked a sliver of hope. Had
he maybe, just maybe, felt something too? That
tiny possibility made my teenage self feel a
little less foolish. But I knew better than to hope
for more.
Lost in thought, I arrived home. I opened the
door and froze.
My living room was filled with people
–
my
<
“Josh and I have broken up. I’m sorry for any
inconvenience.”
“What happened? Everything was fine!”
“She changed her mind overnight! That’s not right.”
“I heard there’s another man.”
“Marriage isn’t a game, Amy! You’re an adult.
Be responsible.”
“Don’t you owe us an explanation?”
The barrage of accusations made my head spin.
An explanation? I was the one getting married,
why did I owe them anything?
“There’s no other man. It’s a misunderstanding.
Josh and I have problems. It’s better to
separate now than get divorced later. Don’t you
agree?” I looked at Iosh’s mom
<
agree?” I looked at Josh’s mom.
Her face tightened. “You’re talking about divorce before you’re even married?”
“I wasn’t good enough for him,” I said, exhausted.
That shut her up.
“Josh never looked down on you! You’re the one who went looking for someone else!” another relative accused.
“I wasn’t! He’s my boss. We’ve known each other since we were kids. He came over for dinner. That’s it!” I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Am I not allowed to have male friends just because I’m with Josh?”
“Just dinner? Josh said…”
“I don’t care what Josh said! It’s his mouth, not
く
9:07
The room fell silent.
92
UNDE
“Amy! Don’t you dare speak to your elders that way!” my dad roared.
I sighed, looking at the sea of disapproving
faces. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. Now,
please leave.” I bowed my head and walked to
my room, closing the door on the chaos, the
weight of their judgment crushing me. I buried
my face in my pillow and sobbed until I couldn’t
breathe.
My phone rang.
Ethan.
I ignored it. He kept calling. Finally, I answered,
my voice raw. “What do you want?”
Silence. Then, softly, “Are you crying?”
I choked back a sob.
9:07
921
He sighed. “I’m sorry. I was out of line earlier. I
apologize.”