suitor list
The “Hottest Girl in Class” had a list, a literal ranking of all the guys chasing her. Every day, she’d update it based on their “performance.” Everyone called it the “Simp List.” I’d privately scoffed, “Any dude who lets himself be treated
like that can’t be worth much.”
Somehow, this got back to Brittany. She said, “Sarah’s right. Guys should have some self-
respect.”
A few days later, she very publicly started
dating Chad, this rich kid from another school.
One of her “simps,” completely losing it,
kidnapped me. He locked me in the equipment
room and, well, it wasn’t pretty. “It’s your fault!
You ruined my chances!” he screamed. “You’re
gonna pay!”
Then, I woke up. Brittany was announcing, “I’m
starting a ‘Boyfriend Ranking‘ to keep things
The classroom erupted. Some guys were
pumped, others were indifferent, but most were
just curious. Brittany, chin held high, declared,
“I’m not some gold digger. I value sincerity. I’ll
post updates on Instagram, totally transparent.
You can call me out, even rate the guys!” The
room buzzed even louder.
Last time this happened, I’d laughed. “Such a
fake–ass pick–me girl,” I’d muttered. Later,
watching the guys compete, I’d mocked them
too. “No dignity, groveling at her feet. What
quality guys would do this?”
Back then, I didn’t get it. Brittany wasn’t
interested in these guys. She was after Chad,
the rich kid. But Chad was surrounded by girls.
Brittany needed something dramatic to catch
his attention. This whole “boyfriend
competition” was just a ploy to show off her
power.
This ima
Iliant
oth ah.ut and fool.
–
This time, I kept my mouth shut and focused on my textbook. But Brittany called me out,
“Sarah! You should be on my judging panel!”
Half the class turned to stare. I fought back the anger and kept reading.
“You’re the best judge of character,” Brittany continued. “My future happiness depends on you!”
Remembering what happened last time, I wanted to disappear. “I’ll pass,” I mumbled.
