We heard Brittany’s cries from inside. Ethan pushed past us and rushed in. Brittany’s clothes
were torn, the RA’s face was red. His wife was catching her breath. Ethan, ignoring her completely, punched the RA in the face.
“Did you hurt her?!” he roared, raining blows on the unsuspecting RA. He went down quickly, unable to defend himself. Other guys pulled
Ethan off. Brittany cowered in the corner,
screaming.
The RA’s wife, seeing this, grabbed a vase and smashed it over Ethan’s head. “You’re
defending this whore?! You think she’s worth
it?! This bitch seduced my husband!”
Ethan groaned, his eyes wide with shock, and
collapsed. We were all frozen. Security arrived
and separated everyone. The RA and Ethan
were taken to the hospital.
The incident went viral. Pictures and videos
く
flooded social media. My video, with the RA’s
wife yelling, “So this is the homewrecker!”
sealed the narrative. Wife catches cheating
husband, simp comes to the rescue.
The university acted swiftly. The RA, for having
an inappropriate relationship with a student,
was fired. Brittany, for repeated violations of
university policy, was expelled. Ethan received
another major demerit for assault.
The day Brittany moved out, Ethan was waiting
outside the dorm. Pictures of him staring up at
her window circulated online, cementing his
“Ultimate Simp” status. Brittany, however,
wasn’t grateful. She blamed Ethan for
escalating the situation and getting her
expelled.
“I rented an apartment, I’ll take care of you,” he
pleaded.
She shoved him away. “Oh really? Live with you
in your crappy one–bedroom, worrying about
whether three–dollar dumplings are too
expensive? Ethan, you have nothing to offer
me.”
“But my love is true! You said you wanted…”
“Yes, I said I wanted true love. I didn’t say I
wanted true love from a broke loser!” She
pushed her suitcase towards the campus gates.
“But you’re the one who came to me,” Ethan
said, following her.
She stopped. “Yes, I did. To get you to chase
Sarah!”
Ethan froze. “But she’s gay.”
Brittany threw her hands up. “Have you seen
her with a girlfriend? Maybe she’s bi! Maybe
she’s lying! And even if she is gay, you love me,
right? Why couldn’t you do that one thing for
12:13
70
The onlookers started booing. Brittany
shrugged. “See? Everyone’s laughing at me. If I was with you, I’d be a laughingstock for the rest of my life!”
She walked away, talking on her phone. Chad was walking towards her, arm in arm with another girl. He didn’t even glance at her. Brittany looked back, and Ethan saw it.
It finally hit him. His world shattered. He clenched his fists and charged at Brittany.
“I’ve never seen anyone move so fast,” a witness later recounted. “He was on her in
seconds. Brittany didn’t stand a chance. He slammed her to the ground. Her head hit the pavement. It didn’t look good.”
Ethan didn’t run. He was arrested. The
university tried to suppress the story, but
Brittany’s Simp List, embellished with each
retelling, became a campus legend.
<
12:13
Ethan didn’t run. He was arrested. The
university tried to suppress the story, but
Brittany’s Simp List, embellished with each
retelling, became a campus legend.
70
Those of us who lived through it were left with
a strange silence.
“It’s like a dream,” Jessica said. “How did it all
end like this?”
I didn’t say anything. Only later, lying in bed, did
I feel the pressure lift. The sword hanging over
my head was finally gone. I hadn’t been able to
bring them down legally, but the sunlight felt
brighter, the air fresher. I cried silent tears of
relief.
It was finally over.
