Chapter 18 The Exam
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For an entire week, Liana threw herself into her studies, her concentration unwavering as she worked through one problem after another.
Whenever she encountered a concept that confused her, she would try to figure it out on her own first. Only when she reached a point where she truly couldn’t understand something would she ask Lilith for help. Lilith, ever patient, would guide her through the steps with careful explanations.
“Oh, I get it now! Lilith, you’re amazing,” Liana said, smiling gratefully. She glanced at a few of the more difficult problems in front of her, her brows knitting together in confusion. “This doesn’t make sense, though.”
Lilith, thinking she had missed something, frowned. “What’s wrong? Did you not get something again?”
“No, it’s not that,” Liana said, tapping the pen cap against her cheek, forming a cute dimple. “You’re so good at this, but when it comes to exams, your grades are … kind of strange. Sometimes they’re even a little bad.”
The unexpected remark caught Lilith off guard. She paused for a moment, unsure how to respond.
There was no way she could explain the truth—that her grades reflected the life she was supposed to lead, a life with no real achievements, no notable accomplishments. If she said that, Liana would probably think she was making excuses. It sounded too ridiculous to be taken seriously.
So, Lilith quickly came up with a reasonable explanation to deflect the question.
“Maybe I get nervous during exams,” she said with a shrug. “It’s been like that since I was a kid. I’m used to it by now.”
Liana seemed to accept that, but her concern didn’t fully fade. She grabbed Lilith’s wrist, looking worried. “What should we do? This can’t keep happening! If you get nervous every time, no one will see how hard you’ve worked!”
Seeing how genuinely concerned Liana was, Lilith softly patted her hand, trying to calm her down.
“It’s fine. I’ll work on it,” she reassured her.
In truth, Lilith didn’t need to “work” on it. She just had to push through the discomfort, like she always had, like she did during her high school entrance exam.
She wasn’t sure if biting her wrist would help clear her mind this time, though. Maybe after the last attempt, the clarity was even shorter than before. Perhaps more pain would help her focus better.
As the semester sped by, the sounds of cicadas once again drowned out the hum of the air conditioner. Lilith looked over at Liana, who was deeply immersed in her studies. It suddenly occurred to her that it might be time to prepare Liana for what lay ahead.
“Liana.”
“Huh? What is it?”
Lilith hesitated, her gaze lingering on Liana briefly. “You’ve been working really hard lately, and I’m sure you’ll do great on the exam. But I might not do as well. We probably won’t be desk partners in the same class after this.”
The memory of all the exams they had taken during the year suddenly came to Liana’s mind. Lilith’s nerves had always gotten the better of her when it came time to take the test. It seemed like something she couldn’t simply change.
With a concerned frown, Liana replied, “It’s okay. If that happens, we can always request a class change. Just focus on doing your best on the exam.”
“Alright, Lilith said, giving Liana’s arm a comforting pat. “Don’t worry. I’ll try my best.”
Outside, the camphor tree stood tall and still, its shadow casting a moving pattern on the ground. Sunlight streamed through the leaves, warming Lilith’s arm and the side of her face as she worked through the first third of the exam. Surprisingly, she didn’t feel as tired or groggy as she usually did. A few pinches and bites helped clear the fog of anxiety enough for her to continue, though she still moved through the exam with a sense of frustration.
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Chapter 18 The Exam
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The last two exams didn’t go as smoothly as expected. The familiar pressure that Lilith had grown used to during exams surged back again.
She remembered chatting with Liana the night before. Liana had done well, and Lilith, feeling the all–too–familiar unease, had pulled a small razor blade from her pocket. The blade was sharp enough to slice through skin effortlessly, leaving a thin line of blood behind.
Once the exams were finally over, Lilith wiped the dried blood from her wrist with a wet wipe. She quickly treated the cut and applied a bandage.
Lilith was someone who deeply feared pain. To her, it felt unbearable, almost like torment.
But pain and mistakes were common occurrences in her life. To avoid bothering others or being disliked, she had taught herself to endure over time.
And, if pain could help her achieve the results she wanted, then it was something she was willing to endure.
With the exams behind her, the long, sweltering summer vacation began. It felt almost unreal–like the past year had passed in the blink of an eye.
‘The days that followed were mostly uneventful. Aside from a few minor injuries and the occasional cold or fever, she hadn’t faced any major health problems. Lilith couldn’t help but feel a bit thankful–thankful to fate, and maybe even a little to herself.
Soon after, the school released the grades and assigned new class placements. Their results were similar, so it only made sense for Lilith and Liana to be placed in the same class.
One day, while they were out together, Liana noticed the cut on Lilith’s wrist and asked what had happened. Lilith casually explained that she had accidentally cut herself with a kitchen knife while preparing food.
Liana’s skeptical look made Lilith nervous. She quickly came up with a more detailed explanation, weaving a story that sounded plausible, even though it had some inconsistencies.
Fortunately, Liana, being a bit absent–minded and trusting, didn’t question it.
This summer, Winona had just finished her entrance exams as well. If it hadn’t been for a strict rule at her middle school that prohibited skipping two grades, she would have graduated alongside Lilith. Then, they could have entered high school together and sped through the college entrance exams. Winona’s life could have been fast–tracked, with no burdens or worries holding her back.
Garrick and Alexis had also finished their exams, as expected, with excellent results.
Lilith often walked past the school bulletin board, where she would see Alexis’s name near the top, almost always in the top three rankings. Alexis’s beauty, bright and natural, shone through even without makeup. Her face was as striking as a crimson plum at night–vibrant and impossible to miss.
Garrick, however, spent his days lost in carefree indulgence, wasting his time on empty pleasures. His role in life seemed to be that of a rebellious school bully, someone who could easily turn things around with just a little push. A small effort from the right people could make all his mistakes seem insignificant, as if his wealth and status gave him an easier path.
It didn’t seem fair.
But then again, life had never been fair.
Since the day she had died–or perhaps since the moment she was born–Lilith had only one choice: to accept the fate she had been given, a fate that could never be changed.
Like every summer, Lilith spent her time alone. By mid–August, everyone had returned home after their vacations–earlier than expected.
Lilith guessed they had likely gone home for Winona’s birthday party, along with Alexis and Garrick’s graduation celebration.
Winona and Lilith’s birthdays were both in the summer, just one day apart.
Lilith remembered Winona’s birthday parties being grand, with plenty of guests. But her own birthday was a blur. She
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Chapter 18 The Exam”
couldn’t recall how it was celebrated, but it must have passed without much fanfare.
Both events were important, since they involved children from the Jones and Payne families.
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Lilith imagined that nearly everyone of importance in Lantana would be invited. The guest list would likely grow, not shrink. It wouldn’t be just a celebration. People would come to network, to forge connections, and to open doors for greater
opportunities in business.
