I can sit here and listen to Knight sing the twins to sleep for the rest of my life and never regret it. Unfortunately, we have a very awkward conversation pending. He walks right by me when he leaves the kids‘ room, walks through our room, and comes back confused. He glares at me when he finds me sitting on the floor beside the door.
“What are you doing down there?” he comes over to me and offers me his hands. I take them, and he lifts me.
“You walked right past me.” I laugh. “I was just listening.”
“You could have joined us.”
“There are things you deserve to have with them. They’ll always remember that.” I shrug. “Just like they remember the art thing with me. Would you like a drink?”
Mr. Knightly brought a variety of liquor when I told him I didn’t like it because I like sweet things. He took it as a challenge, and I kind of want to try some of these. I’ll start with one that says cherry bourbon. I’m going to need a little courage, but who am I kidding? After seeing him with the twins today. I’m fucking over it.
“You don’t drink this,” he says when I drop an ice ball in a glass and top it off.
“I’ve been doing a lot of shit I wouldn’t do, so what’s a glass of bourbon.” I shrug and pour him the whiskey he favors. No ice. I placed it on the heating pad on the side table beside him and sit across from the armchair he usually takes over.
“You’re upset with me.”
Why does he start our serious conversations with me like that?
“Yeah, I am. I’m also exhausted because my wolf doesn’t let me sleep unless you’re in the room with us. I’m upset that you bottle up everything you have to say, but then explode when I do it.
“Then there’s the two–week–long silent treatment after you got up and left me all hot and bothered without an explanation. On top of that, you promised to be straight with me, but I have to hear that you became the Rogue King from someone else’s mouth-”
“Phoebe-”
“I’m not fucking done,” I growl. His eyes snap to me, red flashing in them. He sits back, tearing his angry glare away to reach for the glass I set beside him. I give him a moment to settle and to keep my body from trembling. “I don’t know how to be a werewolf, Knight. It’s so fucking difficult for me to be okay with half the shit that happens every fucking day. I’ve killed nine people since meeting you, and that’s not counting the people the thing inside of me has eaten.
“I am trying so fucking hard to keep up with all of you and the least we can do is be honest with each other. I shouldn’t have to miss you when you’re literally sitting right in front of me. I didn’t know I was supposed to mark you.” he flinches. “I thought it was
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some alpha male bullshit because that’s literally what everyone told me to get over the fact that you attacked me for telling you how I felt.
“I’ve read what it means to be marked and you shouldn’t have fucking marked me like that. It scared me and everytime we’re together I have to fight the fucking urge to attack you so you don’t have another traumatizing experience like the food. Especially one coming from me!”
I stand up, trying to catch my breath so I don’t break down. I growl at him when he gets up to try and comfort me. He puts his hands up and sighs heavily before sitting where I had been. Once I’m calm enough, I take my glass and down the entire drink. It‘ s still fucking disgusting. The cherry flavor only made it worse.
I sit where he had been and take his drink as well. I’m surprised by how smoothly it goes down. There’s no artificial flavor, just straight whiskey warming my stomach. I take another drink, and it literally feels like my rage slips away along with every other emotion. I laugh and set it back in the cup warmer.
“Do you want to know something funny?” he asks after a while.
“Please,” I nod.
He grins and comes over. He pulls me up so he can take my place. He pulls me to sit on his lap and takes a drink.
“After our first encounter, I created this whole idea of you in my head. It helped the screaming. And I started drinking this because I convinced myself you were a tough human girl taking on the fashion world. You would unwind with a glass of whiskey at the end of the day. It took me two years to find the perfect way to drink this because not all of them are good.” he chuckles and sets the glass down.
“That’s actually a cute story,” I admit. “You’re an idiot. A big, mushy idiot. You know I’m not the girl you envisioned in your head. I’m an actual person, and now we know that I might be just as dangerous as you.”
“Angel, you’re as dangerous as your little sister was as a wolf, and that girl was a nightmare. She used her superpowers to do bad shit for a long time and when the toll added up she wanted to be redeemed so badly the universe said, Hell yeah and now she makes laws for a race of assholes who only understand killing each other.” he grins. “Maybe more because you actually understand people. I’m convinced you’re a real angel.”
“I’ve been reading about what I am.” I lay back against him. “I’m fucking weird.”
“I’m not worried about it. You’ve proven to be very good at caring for the spirit that chose you. I’ve been thinking about how you’ve handled everything, and it makes me feel weak for never trying to get along with my wolf.”
“Are you getting along with him now? He’s a good boy.” I tickle his chin. He growls at me, catching my wrist in his hand.
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“Don’t do that.”
“But it’s the truth. He’s such a good, big, scary wolf. So strong with his massive paws and hella sharp claws.” I coo and reach for him with my left hand. He captures it.
“You’re going to rile him up,” he warns.
“Aww, I’m so sorry you have a big mean vessel complicating everything with his dumb person brain.” I continue.
“Phoebe.” he groans as his eyes begin to glow red.
“There you are. My handsome mate. Has he been neglecting you?” I laugh when a low vibrating sound comes out of his chest.
“Okay,” Knight growls at both of us. “We’re having a conversation here.”
“Why didn’t you just ask me?” I pull away. “Or accuse me like your siblings did?”
“I heard you talking about it with Tess, and I figured she would have told you. And you‘ re right. The way I marked you was wrong. I scared you. Honestly, Buddy had been pressing me for so long that I just let him have it. Us, because it’s what I’ve wanted from the moment I bumped into you outside that elevator.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted things before but this one felt like do or die. From the start. I know you’re not an idea. Trust me when I say if I treated you the way I saw myself treating you, you’d be locked in a bubble. Away from everything and everyone. Just me and you where no one and nothing could ever reach us.”
“I knew you were the one who bumped into me.” I sigh. His body shakes when he laughs. I stand up and turn around to face him properly. “How about we make a deal?”
“I love deals.” he nods.
“Yeah, you’re Arnold Knightly’s son. The guy might as well have invented deal–making. I‘ m convinced he’s the devil IRL.”
“What’s the deal?” he laughs.
“You fucked up the marking.” I point out. He presses his lips together, but he doesn’t deny it. “So, I want to make mine special. This way, I control how it happens, so it doesn’t make me feel guilty about having to maul you. We both get what we want, and I can go down in history as the best mate who ever existed. Your reward is that you get to brag about that.”
“That is the best deal I’ve ever been offered in my entire existence, and I got a sweet record deal,” he grins. “I’ll take it.”
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