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golden rod that holds up the spray faucet. He goes over to it and starts the water. The twins love that it looks like rain.
“It’s warm,” he says. I reach up to test the water. I nod and he presses the latch for the tub to fill. I pour some of the bubble soap in.
“Come so I can help you out of your clothes,” I say and pour some of the bubble bath soap that might have just saved our lives into the big cereal bowl.
“Would you like some help?” Knightly offers.
1 look down at my kids and a part of me wants me to tell him to fuck off, but I can’t. He didn’t hesitate to come for us. Granted he’s the reason why we were in that situation. I‘ m hoping he can give me some answers.
“Sure.” I agree.
I help Ayrie out of her clothes and place her in the tub. The bottom is rough with some kind of stone. He helps Aizen. My son doesn’t say anything as he moves the bubbles around. I fold their clothes while they play in the water.
“It’s not slippery like ours,” Azien says.
“It’s safer,” Knightly tells him.
“It’s not as fun,” Ayrie rolls her eyes at him and he seems to have taken that personally. He sits back to scratch the back of his neck. “You’re a cereal,” she splashes Aizen. Aizen Pebbles,”
“You’re a cereal,” he splashes her back. “Crispy Ayrie,”
They both burst into giggles. I look over at Knightly to see he’s completely enthralled with them. He looks scared, as if he blinked for too long they might disappear. I’ve been there. Every time I slow down to look at them, a part of me has been scared that he’d show up and take them from me. I’ve convinced myself that I was doing the right thing, that he was some kind of monster. But I never took the chance to actually look. I don’t know what’s going on, but he’s not what I thought he would be. It’s still too early to cry wolf.
“It’s weird, huh?” I break the silence. He glances at me but his eyes go back to them immediately.
“They’re so small,” he whispers.
“The first time I took them a bath, I was so scared. They still had their little belly button things,” I feel my face heat up. “I was so stressed out, I wasn’t able to breastfeed them for too long and it took me a bit to find the right formula. Keeping them clean was a struggle,”
“How did you do this all alone?” he looks up at me frightened.
“I didn’t really have a choice and it wasn’t all bad. They’re extra cute when they’re super tiny,” I laugh. “All I wanted to do was hold them. All day and all night. It was so hard to
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put them down. And they smell so good.
“However, I am so happy that they can tell me when something hurts now and when
they don’t like something. That’s hard to figure out when they don’t stop crying and you‘ re just a selfish twenty four year old way in over your head,”
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