Chapter 28
2%
“He is. The best,” Knight pulls his legs up to rest his forearms on them. The tattoos take me back to the night we met. I touched them all. I feel a little awkward about dreaming about doing that again. “I was twelve when he came into our life. My wolf was-” he rests his head back looking up at the moon behind me. “Arnold is a cruel man. It comes with what we are.
“Alphas are power, but that man is sick. Feral wolves are like that. The human side of them dies and they become all instinct. Eventually, they turn never to be human again. Losing a mate is a lot like snuffing out all the good in us. Everything that makes us a person and he started conditioning me for it from the moment I shifted when I turned six.
“For three years, my wolf followed every command his father and alpha gave him. I did some fucked shit,” he sighs. “I did it because he told me that if I refused, he would hurt my mother. When my mom caught on, she tried to get between us and I had to push her away. When he saw that I was no longer resisting his orders, he tried to make me kill her,”
“Knight,” I kneel in front of him wondering if it would be okay to touch him. He didn’t react too kindly to it when I did the last time.
“I told her we had to run and she didn’t hesitate. One of the kitchen ladies got us out and we were on the run until Mom bought the beach house. That’s how we met Freddy. She had to ask permission from the alpha of the city to purchase the unclaimed land. At the time, it was his dad. My grandfather. You’re going to love him and my grandma,” he smiles.
“If they’re anything like Freddy, I believe you,” I smile and he grins.
“I didn’t take too kindly to another alpha at first. I was messed up. It’s called B.F.D. Borderline Feral Disorder. My grandma is a psychiatrist for juveniles like me who come from Feral families and rogues.
“Freddie was so patient with me, but I couldn’t control my wolf,” his lower lip trembles and tears slide down his cheeks. “My first sibling was a sister. She was three when Ruin started coming around. He shoved her and I lost control,” he presses the back of his hands to his eyes. “When I came too, she was gone and I was covered in her blood,”
“Knight,” I don’t hesitate to reach for him. He fights me at first but when I wrap my arms around him and hold his head to my chest he relaxes a little and lets me hold him. “Knight, that wasn’t your fault,”
“I know that, but it doesn’t change what I did,” he cries. “I was supposed to protect her,”
“I’m so sorry,” I hold onto him tightly. Relief floods through me when he wraps his arms around me. I can feel his tears soaking through my T–shirt.
“The best thing you could have done was keep them from me. I don’t know how to tell you how thankful I am that you did,” he admits. He straightens up to look at me. His pretty green eyes are rimmed red. “Phoebe, I don’t know if I can do this,”
“I fucked up by telling Kendra you were their father. I’m so sorry,”
“That’s not on you,” he shakes his head. “Things are going to get worse before they get better, Angel. When Argold finds out about you and that I have an heir. He will stop at nothing to turn me into what he’s always intended,”
“I can’t exactly hide,”
“I know,” he caresses my cheeks. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiles. “The first time I saw you was from behind the curtain that night. I didn’t know who were or that you were my mate yet. You had this huge grin on your face. You were talking to your friends and taking pictures. I panicked when I almost stepped on your hand. Ayrie is right, you did kind of look like Pochantas,”
“Oh, my god,” I laugh. Stupid dog boy.
“I knew the moment your eyes met mine,” his thumbs stroke my face. “I used to think I hated Arnold for what he did, but I never hated him more than I did in that moment. When you fell asleep, I wished things were different. I never wished that I had been born Freddy’s son more.
“I left because I knew that if you woke in my arms I wouldn’t have been able to walk away. I was still a juvenile and I wouldn’t have been able to protect you. I still remember all of your designs,” he lifts his hips to pull out his wallet. He takes a folded napkin out and hands it to me. I open it to find it’s one of my doodles, it has the date we met on it. All of my drawings have them. “I stole this,”
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16:44
Chapter 28
May
“Knight,” I look up at him not knowing what to say, “I didn’t even notice”
“I was hoping that would be the case,” he smiles. “I’m scared too,” he admits, “I don’t know what comes next, baby, I just know that I have to be prepared. We both have to be,”
“What do I have to do?” I nod. He smiles, his hand slips down to the curve of my neck.
“I need time,” he says. “To get my wolf back in shape. To wrap my mind around you being here. You’ll need to learn how to adapt to this life and when we’re ready, I have to mark you,”
“You mean turn me?”
“Yes,” he nods. “But I’m going to be there through all of it. Whatever you need I will provide. It’s not going to be easy, Phoebe. And it won’t just be the werewolf shit. A big part of why I chose the music was because it meant I’d be in the limelight. Hiding in plain sight. Arnold won’t be stupid enough to attack me in public.
“But he will come after us in other ways. Xochtl has an alliance with us and with him because she has wolf housing on his territory for her company. Jus like my father. He can’t touch us but he can still make our lives a living hell,”
“Fuck,” I sit back. “He sounds like a real fucking piece of shit,”
“He is,” he nods. “I need you to tell me everything, Angel. You can’t hide your feelings from me. We can’t lie to each other. Even if it hurts me, I need you to be honest with me for this to work and I will do the same,”
“You promise?”
“Phoebe,” the way he says my name breaks my heart. It sounds like it hurts him to say it. “You’re the only reason I would do this at all,”
“What does that mean?”
“I-” he takes a deep breath and exhales heavily. “I walked away from you knowing you were human. The damage it caused me was substantial. Those first six months, physically made me ill. I had to cancel a few shows after how bad it got. The press thought I was on drugs,”
“I remember,” I nod. “You went to rehab,”
“Right,” he smiles. “No, it was just my wolf becoming dormant,”
“Like he was dying?”
“Much worse. Dying means that it’s over for us in the end. He was still there, but it was just a whisper of the alpha he had been. I was becoming mortal. Weakening. The parts in my body that were him, were decaying. We’re not really sure how long it takes for the wolf’s spirit to die or what happens when it does. No one has been stupid enough to try before,”
“Why would you put yourself through that?”
“Angel, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure this world went on with you in it,” he smiles but his expression is sad. Lonely. “I would rather die than let that man hurt you in any way just to get to me. The more I learn about you, the more I stand by my decision to walk away. I just wanted one night with you. You were such a good girl,” he caresses my cheek again. “You still are. Always giving me what I know I’ll never deserve,”
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AD
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