12: No Abortion.
It was finally the day of the abortion. Asher, and Austin already drove me to the hospital. My hands instinctively went on my stomach. Was I doing the right thing?
I felt cold, as well as nauseous. I had not idea why I was feeling this way.
I sat beside Asher and Austin.
The doctor was to see us in a few minutes
and as we waited, I felt this strange, aching feeling in my chest hadn’t gone away. If anything, it had grown stronger. Should I really go through with this?
“Excuse me,” A nurse approached us with a smile. “You can see the doctor
now.”
I clenched my fists as the nurse led us to the consultation room.
It was me who made the decision to abort
my baby. The day I found out my
D 35% 11:45
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12: No Abortion
pregnancy, I was ready to give up my life, the treatment for just a percent of my baby s survival. But now, this baby was going to be aborted.
I shook the thoughts from my head as I tried to console myself, “I’ve already decided,” I told myself. “This is what’s best for everyone.”
But as I sat on the examination table, my thoughts betrayed me.
My hand instinctively moved to my stomach again.
I had also wished for this baby for so long, and now, when it is finally here… Could I really have the heart to let it go?
“Ashley?” Austin whispered, interrupting my thoughts. He was sitting across from me, leaning forward with a worried expression. “You‘ re scaring me. What’s going on in your head?”
I felt my throat become sore, my heart. raced and my palm was already sweaty.
IME
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12: No Abortion.
“Ashley, please,” he said, his voice softer now. “I know this is hard, but you need to go through with this. We don’t want to lose you.”
I looked away, biting my lip to keep from crying.
“You think I don‘ t know that?” I whispered. “I also want to be with you.”
“Then please…”
I broke down into tears. I knew that the best option at this moment was to go through the abortion. It wasn’t even clear that my baby would survive.
But, I recalled the first time I tested myself with the pregnancy strip. At that time, I was so excited.
I stood up, shaking my head. “I can’t go through this.”
Austin’s face dropped. “Ashley, trust me… I was also excited when you told me that you were pregnant. I was going to be an
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uncle. But when you said about your cancer… Ashley, it’s about your health. Your life comes first. You can have another baby in the future. And, the baby… it’s just a fetus inside.”
I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “I know. I know all of that. But I
can’t do it. I just… I can‘ t.”
The room fell silent as my words caused a wave of emotions. Even the doctor, who had been standing by with a clipboard, sighed and set it aside.
Austin spoke up with a hoarse voice, “Is there something else we can do, doctor?”
“There is something you can do, although not advisable. The best course of action is to abort the baby.” The doctor paused and observed everyone.
“But we’ll listen to the patient‘ s decision.” He said as he took his surgical mask off. “I’ll prescribe some medications. to help manage your condition. It won’t
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help you with getting better, but you’ll feel less pain. But, it’s crucial that you take better care of yourself. And… if there’s a miracle, you, and the baby both could survive.”
I nodded weakly, still clutching my stomach. I knew the doctor was trying to comfort me. But, all I wanted was the baby to be alive, and well. I wished that a miracle would happen, but…
I let out a deep sigh, and then nodded.
“Please give me the medications.”
As we left the hospital, I could feel the tension radiating from both Asher and Austin, but they didn’t say anything.
As we walked towards the driveway, Ace caught me off guard. He was standing near his car, his hand resting lightly on Elena’s shoulder as he helped her step inside. They were close too close.
For a moment, I just stood there, watching while Asher and Austin went to the garage.
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No Abortion.
engleway he smiled at her, the way she cicincialed into him. It was something I Ike’t seen in years, and I realized, eltheberly, that maybe I never had.
ollow laugh escaped me, soft and
Lestiil dost inaudible. I was a fool, an absolute
dece docto have ever believed I mattered to
allw He had never showed me that care he well. Iwo Elena back then. And, even now, he
appen, cared about her.
sigh, andned to leave, hoping to escape
e the medticed, but Elena‘ s voice stopped me.
shley?”
ospital, Ic
1g frombre, cursing my luck, and forced a y didn‘ tral expression as I turned back to face
wards the
uard. Hexy are you here?” she asked, smirking d resting I noticed her eyes fell to the folder in helped her and.
io close.
I could react, she noticed the words
I just stored on the corner–pregnancy test d Austins.
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Her eyes widened slightly. “Oh my God, you‘ re pregnant? Ace is finally going to be a dad?”
I instinctively pulled the folder closer to my
chest.
“Congratulations, for becoming a new
mom.”
Talking to her made me drained. I didn’t understand what was going with her. But, I felt uneasiness in my chest, as if it was instinctively warning me for something.
“Thanks,” I muttered, barely meeting her
eyes.
Before she could say anything else, I turned on my heel and walked away as fast as I could without outright running. I didn’t want to be dragges by Ace, and she made
me uneasy.
