CHAPTER 18: Envy
Lily’s POV
The salty breeze clung to my skin as I stumbled away from the shore, my legs unsteady and my breaths shallow. The ocean roared behind me, but I dared not look back. My chest heaved as I pressed a trembling hand to my lips, as if that could somehow keep the nausea at bay.
What have I done?
The question gnawed at me as I slipped into the shadows of the boardwalk, I made my way over to my car quickly and got in. My mind was a whirlwind, one part of me panicking over what had just happened, the other viciously rationalizing it.
I hadn’t pushed her, she had fallen on her own and it’s not my fault.
Victoria wasn’t dead. She was probably still thrashing in the water, but someone would save her. Someone always saved her.
The thought soured my stomach further. It wasn’t fair.
Victoria Hawthorne. The golden girl. The beloved daughter, the star student, the perfect wife. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I clawed and scraped for recognition, it was always her name that people remembered, her smile that charmed everyone in the room.
root.
I had tried to be a good friend. I really had. But there were only so many times a person could stand in someone else’s shadow before the bitterness took
It started small. Little things. Compliments that always seemed to come with a comparison:
“You’re so pretty, Lily. But Victoria’s just stunning, isn’t she?”
“You’re smart, Lily. But Victoria’s brilliant!”
It wasn’t that Victoria gloated or rubbed her success in my face. No, that would have been easier to deal with. She didn’t even seem to notice the way people adored her, the way she eclipsed everyone else effortlessly. That obliviousness made it worse because it meant she wasn’t trying. She just was.
I bit my lip as the memories swirled, sharper now, like shards of glass piercing through the fog of my panic. It had my body shaking and my jaw clenching.
We were ten when I first realized I could never win.
It was the school talent show. I had spent weeks perfecting my piano piece, pouring every ounce of effort into making it flawless. My parents had been so proud, and I was certain I’d take home the prize.
Then Victoria walked onto the stage.
She didn’t even prepare, just stood there with a bright, nervous smile and recited a silly little poem she’d written. The audience laughed and clapped and cheered louder than they had for anyone else. When the judges announced the winner, it wasn’t my name they called.
That was the first time I hated her.
But I buried it. I told myself it wasn’t her fault. She was my friend, after all. Friends don’t hate each other.
The years went by, and the pattern repeated. She won the awards, the scholarships, the admiration of everyone around us. I worked just as hard–harder, even–but it was never enough.
Still, I kept the jealousy locked away, a bitter little secret that I carried in silence. I convinced myself that I didn’t need to outshine her, that I could be content standing beside her.
And then came the wedding.
I sat in the pew, watching her glide–down the aisle like a princess from a fairy tale. Her hair shimmered in the sunlight filtering through the stained- glass windows, her brown eyes seemed golden as they glowed with happiness.
Ethan Sterling, the groom. Wealthy, successful, devastatingly handsome. The kind of man who could have had anyone but chose her.
It wasn’t fair.
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CHAPTER 18 Envy
She had everything–looks, brains, charm–and now she had him too. Meanwhile. I was stuck in a dead–end joth, sampung by, with no prospects and no one who gave me a second glance.
For the first time, I couldn’t hide the envy anymore. It festered, growing darker and more poisonous with each passing day
Lily, are you even listening?” Victoria’s voice had snapped me out of my thoughts.
We were sitting in her immaculate kitchen, sipping tea like we always did during our weekly catch–ups. She was unbling about some hairy event Ethan was hosting, her voice full of excitement and pride.
I forced a smile, nodding as if I cared. ‘Of course. It sounds amazing.
Her face lit up, and she reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “You should come! It’ll be fun, and I’d love to introduce you to some of Ethnos colleagues.”
The suggestion felt like a slap in the face. She didn’t even realize how condescending it sounded, how much it sung to hear her talk about “helping” me like I was some charity case.
I wanted to scream at her, to tell her to stop pretending we were equals when she clearly thought she was better than me. But I didnt. Istend.. I sided and said. ‘Id love to.”
The night of the event had been the turning point. Victoria, radiant and glowing, was the center of attention, as always. Wardting her bask in adunation made my jealousy boil over. When Ethan stepped away, I seized my chance. A lingering touch here, a whispered compliment there–it was enough to plant
the seed.
At first, I felt guilty for the flirtation, but it didn’t last. Ethan fell into my trap, and I reveled in it. Finally, I had taken something from Victoria. something that mattered.
The image of Victoria falling into the water haunted me. For a brief moment, I’d wanted to save her, to undo everything. But another part of me–the part that resented her–whispered it was better this way
If she were gone, there’d be no more competition. No more being overshadowed, no more playing second best.
I clenched my fists, trying to steady my breathing. This wasn’t my fault. Victoria had forced my hand. If she hadn’t been so perfect, so untouchable, none of this would have happened.
Don’t come back, Victoria. Don’t try to ruin things again.
God, I have never resented someone as much I resent Victoria. My blood boiled just thinking of her.
I will not live in your shadow anymore….
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